Cant jokes
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they don’t have a home base.
What do you call an opener that doesn't work?
A can't opener.
Why couldn’t the midget ride the bus?
He can’t slam dunk his bus fare!
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they don’t know where home is.
Gwen, don't worry, everyone hates you, by the way! Have anything to say? Then who cares? You can't stop me.
Unknown person is going to give you a hint of who hates you...we were in a club, a meeting...btw this is you!
[Image of Gwen]
Later, Bitch!!!!!!!!
What do Nemo and my dad have in common?
They both can't be found.
What do autistics, women, and chinks have in common? They can't fuckin' drive.
What do you call a gay person who is gay but just can't admit it? A Filipino.
Hey amazing people! The Prankster is back! This prank was on my sister and her friends. (tbh I did not think she had friends.)
I set out some snacks for them! Btw (I can't be trusted).
I gathered some "slapies."
The things I gathered were tomatoes, onions, milk, carrots, ice cream, and some dried-out green beans! All that stuff!
I need the tomatoes to make a sauce because I am going to put that with the ice cream, mix that up with the milk, yea yea it might look like a gross and nasty dish...WRONG!!!! I am going to make it into a little snack...anyway we make that into a snack for her and her friends. The onions are used to make their eyes cry and burn but I will give them a towel after that. The dried-out green beans are just to make them go over the top and overreact because I did not cook them. After that, we make it like it's not so icky!
I feed it to them!
They overreacted!
Please leave a comment.
Bye!
The coach of the Detroit Lions had put together the perfect football team. But then his quarterback got blindsided and was out for the season with a knee injury.
Then his backup went down with a concussion. He tried the trading route, free agents, but nobody any good was available.
One evening while watching the news from Iraq, he saw a young Iraqi soldier with an amazing arm. The soldier rifled a grenade on a perfect arc into a 4th story window from 100 yards, bam!
He tossed another directly into a tight group of 12 enemy fighters 80 yards away, ka-bam! Then a humvee passed, going 60 kph, boom! Another perfect shot!
Coach said to himself, "I got to have this guy. He's got the best arm I've ever seen!"
He tracks him down and convinces him to come to Detroit. The kid takes coaching perfectly, makes all the plays, and long story short, the Lions win the Super Bowl.
The Iraqi is now the Conquering Hero in pro football, and a huge story. But when the broadcast team tries to interview him, all he wants is to phone his mom.
"Mother," he yells over the phone, "We just won the Super Bowl!"
"Don't talk to me," the woman says. "You abandoned us. You can't be my son."
The young Iraqi begs, "Mom, you don't understand! Our team won the biggest game here in the U.S. Thousands of fans are screaming for me. The U.S. President is going to call me!"
"I don't care," his mother snaps. "Right now I can hear gunshots everywhere. Our block is like a ruin. Your brothers were beaten half to death last night, and your sister was nearly raped."
Then she says, "I can never forgive you for making us move to Detroit."
Why do orphans cry so much?
They can’t find a place to go.
Why can’t orphans have a horse?
Because they run away like their mum did.
What do you call a rapper who can’t rhyme?
A speech impediment.
Why can’t girls in the Middle East smoke weed?
Because they’ll get stoned.
Why don't booties make good drummers?
They can't keep a beat without making a FART NOISE.
Why is an orphan's least favorite day field trip day?
Because they can't get a parent's signature.
My little sister that is 10 is so ugly her hairline can't even be found by Dora the Explorer.
Why can't Indians play football?
Every time they get a corner, they open up a shop. 🙉
Why does Africa have no pharmacies? Because you can't have medicine on an empty stomach.
Your hairline is so ugly, even Dora the Explorer can’t even do it.