Cant jokes
Why can’t Helen Keller drive? She’s dead.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find home.
My sister: See you at home in about an hour.
Me: Okay.
My sister: Sister, where are you? *She looks out the window.*
Me: Sis, I'm here, can't you see me?
Sister: OMG, she's dead!
Me: Yeah, I know, but can't you see me?
What do you call an orphan? Homeless.
What's an orphan's worst favorite movie? Home Alone.
Why can't homeless people find a home? Because they're orphans.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they don't have a home.
not the best like it says it is!!
Why can’t an orphan play soccer?
If he can’t find home, he can’t find goal.
Why can’t orphans eat big bags of chips?
Cause they're family size. ✌🏻😂🤣😅🥲
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they have no home to run to.
I'm okay with giving babies iPads, as long as the baby has anencephaly.
You can't get brain rot if you don't have a brain!
What do Donald Trump and a dick have in common?
Liberals can't keep either one out of their mouths.
Attention to everyone, I'm not going to be on for 2 weeks because I was in a bike accident, or more like a motorcycle accident. I was ran off the road when my 16 year old brother was taking me for a ride. Now I can't use my legs cause, well, you know. I will be taking a break because I don't want to move my legs that much.
Why can’t Sally hang herself?
She does not have arms.
What's the difference between peanut butter and jam? You can't peanut butter your dick up a dead baby's ass.
"Help! I've fallen and I can't get up!"
I was staying over at my friend's; for the purpose of the joke, he shall be called Kian. It was 03:00 am and everyone else was asleep when I heard a soft banging on the wall. I left the room to inspect it. Kian lived with his grandad John Hauge; it was thought he had a huge slong.
The banging was getting louder, and so too was my heartbeat. I opened John's door and ventured into the room. John was fully naked. There was a glory hole through the wall where I could make it Kian's ass. This is what I have been waiting for. I rip off my shorts, which Ali G bought for me, and silently moved towards John. I shoved [my] 1-inch wonder in his ear. John furiously turned around and slapped me with his cock, "You little gimp, get on the bed."
Kian came in the room with a 2-litre bottle of Irn Bru. He demanded, "What the fudge are you doing?"
I replied smoothly, "Kian, you tracksuit warrior, you have a camel toe!"
Kian fires back, "Shut it, Paul, you have genital warts!"
John screams, "SHUT THE FUCK UP!"
He then gives us it so rough I can't walk the next day, but [I] feel pleasured for eternity.
By Lewis
I can't sleep, that's because you're dead.
You can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish!
What were Brian Cant's last words before he died?
"I used to do it, but now I cant!"
Why can't an orphan suck my nut?
A girl can, one knows how.
Why can't orphans play softball?
Because they don't know where home base is.