Cant jokes

I've decided to marry a pencil. I can't wait to introduce my parents to my bride 2B.

Why can't orphans go to spelling bees? Because they can't spell "home."

Why can't orphans play baseball?

Because they can't find home plate.

An American bully goes up to an English kid and says, "You're ugly!"

And the English kid says, "Well, wanna know why you can't play Jenga?"

"Why?" says the bully.

"Because you haven't got a tower."

Why can't an orphan watch the movie:

It was family rated.

"Doctor, there's a patient on line 1 that says he's invisible."

"Well, tell him I can't see him right now."

I used to be a banker but I lost interest.

Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team? She always ran away from the ball.

Why can’t bikes stand? Because they are two tired (Too tired).

Why can't religion and science agree?

Because science creates skyscrapers, and religion combines with skyscrapers.

What’s yellow and can’t swim?

A bus full of kids.

Why can't all guys be more like Kenny? He doesn't get all upset when his mom isn't in the mood.

What do autistics, women, and chinks have in common? They can't fuckin' drive.

Why can't a homeless person be in "The Boys?"

Because he would have beef with Homelander.

My dad is John Cena because I can't see him.

Why can't Michael Jackson go within 500 meters of a school?

Because he's dead.

Why can't an orphan be a criminal?

Because they aren't wanted.

So you know there's like dog mixes, right? Like a Snoodle and that stuff, right? So why can't a bulldog and a shih tzu be mixed? 'Cause if they did, it would be called bullshit.

Why can’t orphans be criminals?

Because they’re not wanted.

Why can't a cheetah play hide and seek?

Because he's always spotted.

After a week of this, she can't stand it any longer.

The woman goes into her supervisor's office and tells him that she wants to file a sexual harassment suit against the man and explains why.

Why can’t orphans get in trouble?

Because there’s no one to give a phone call home to.