Cant jokes
Why can orphans never go on field trips?
Because they can’t get a parent signature.
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because they have no one they can call "daddy."
Why can't Mexicans cross the border? They always sneak powder in.
Why can't Helen Keller drive?
'Cause she's already dead.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.
Why can't the orphan run past third base?
'Cause the orphan doesn't have a home to run to.
What does this joke and half a deck of cards have in common? You can't even deal with it!
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
They can't go home.
What is yellow and can't swim?
A bus full of children.
This is why orphans are dangerous with cardboard. They either start eating it or making it into a house and hallucinating that they have a family.
So I threw out the cardboard and said, "You have to stay in reality. Fantasies aren't real. You can't and will never get a home."
Next day, they make cardboard parents, so I threw that away and said, "Pay attention to reality; you will never get parents."
Next day, they start acting like parents and tell me what to do. Again, I said, "Snap to reality. You will never be a parent!" The orphan responded with, "Oh, really?! How so?" I just simply said, "You don't have a house and parents. You literally like eating cardboard, and then you make parents out of it. You like to eat old people!"
Why are orphans so bad at baseball?
Because they can't go home.
Bully: I can't understand you because I don't speak ugly language.
Me: And I don't speak idiot language.
Why can’t an orphan take medicine?
They need parental supervision.
You know why eggs can't tell jokes?
They crack each other up!
Cow: *can't be milked for 20 years*
9/11:
A thief walks up to a man in a suit and pulls out a gun. The thief says: "Give me your money." The man in the suit turns around surprised. He raises his hands and says: "But, wait! You can't do that, I am a Congressman!" The thief replies: "Oh, sorry. Give me MY money."
Why is it okay to make fun of orphans?
Because they can't tell their parents.
What is it that gay men can't get from having too much oral sex?
Erectile dysfunction.
What do SpongeBob and Asians have in common?
They're both yellow and can't drive.
The power of yeet.
I can't do this - YEET!
I'm not good at this - YEET!
I'm not old enough - YEET!