Cant jokes
You know how people say white men can’t jump? Well, you should check the 9/11 footage.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they don't know where home is. :)
Why can't Chinese people play football? They will eat the bat.
Girl: "Hey, why don't you come over?"
Guy: "I can't. Cops are looking for me, they say I killed 2 people."
Girl: "C'mon, my parents aren't home."
Guy: "About that..."
Why can't Hitler join track?
Because he can't even finish a race.
Why can't Trump go to the White House anymore? Because it's forbidden!
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
He can't run home.
Today I learned humans eat more bananas than monkeys. -- I can't remember the last time I ate a monkey.
Why can't orphans have a girlfriend?
They have no one to call "daddy."
What do you call an opener that doesn't work?
A can't opener.
Why can’t orphans use computers?
Because they don’t have a homepage.
You can tune a guitar, but you can’t tuna fish.
I forgot you can't make depression jokes outside of Twitter, lmao. My coworker was like, "You ready for this year to be over?"
I was like, "I'm ready for this life to be over." He was like, "Bro, what?"
Can you go as a horse for Halloween?
Well, if you do, I can't wait to ride you!
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find home. 😢
What did the pilots say before crashing into the Twin Towers?
"We can't go over it, we can't go under it, we go through it!"
Orphans can get away with anything really bad at school, because they can't be sent home for it.
Why don’t orphans work as computer repair technicians? Because they can’t find the motherboard.
Pistachio can’t, but pe-can.
Guy: "My life is like a game, I should end it."
Guy 2: "Is it a hard life?"
Guy: "Yup"
Guy 2: "Then you can't kill yourself LOL"
Guy 3: "Hold on, I know a cheat code to finish the 'game'"
Once again, RIP Daniel Kyre, he actually died this day five years ago.
He attempted suicide Sep 16, and was in life support, till his parents made the tough decision of taking him off.
We will miss ya bud..... (cyndagoooooooo)