Cant jokes
Why can't an orphan play football? Because they can't find home or return it.
Q: Why can't orphans be gay?
A: They have nobody to call daddy.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
They don’t know where home plate is.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
It doesn't know where home is.
If I were an object in this world, I'd be a glass! Because if you leave me when I'm too close to the edge, I will likely shatter and break.
If I was a pizza topping, I would be pineapple! Because everybody doubts me.
I'm a star! Because one of these days, I'm going to crash and burn...
If I could choose what creature I come back as after I die, I'd be a panda, because people would give a shit if I went extinct.
I'm like the sun; I'm painful to look at.
If I was a food, I would be chopped liver because nobody likes me.
I'm like an eggshell... broken and empty.
If I was a mythical creature, I'd be a unicorn! Because nobody believes in me.
I'm like a flashlight with old batteries inside because my inner light died a long time ago.
My soul is a raisin because it's dried up, shriveled, and not everyone likes it.
I'm like the moon because you only get to see one side of me.
I'm like the moon because as the month progresses, my life becomes covered more and more by darkness.
I'm like an extremely powerful fan! Because I push everyone away.
I'm like a disposable camera! People use me once and then just throw me away.
I'm like a shitty book cover... because people think they have the right to judge and label me before they read my pages.
My brain and body is essentially a really old married couple that can't afford to go through with the divorce, and now they are stuck in a toxic relationship they are desperate to escape, but the more they try, the more they sink into the quicksand that is my depression and anxiety.
Help me....
Why is there only a glory hole in the handicapped stall in some public men's restrooms?
Because a gay man that is not physically handicapped can't receive a blow job from a gay man that is physically handicapped under the handicapped stall.
Son: Dad, I had sex for the first time.
Dad: Would you like to talk about it?
Son: Sure.
Dad: Sit down and let's talk about it.
Son: I can't, my butt hurts.
Why can't orphans go on school field trips? Parent Signature: _______
How many time does it take to cook a baby in a microwave?
I don’t know, I can’t count while masturbating.
What's one thing gay people can't draw?
A straight line.
Why can't cheetahs run forever? Because they run out of breath!
Why can't an orphan hit a home run?
They have no home to run to.
An obese, depressed mother is trying to tie a noose, but can't reach it, so she calls her son for help.
*A few minutes later*
son: There.
mother: Where did you learn to tie such a good noose?
son: Dad showed me before he died.
mother: DAMN HIM TO HE- *slips and the noose chokes her to death*
Why can't orphans be gay? They have nobody to call "daddy."
Am I the only one who's on here because it's not blocked on the school laptop and I can't use my phone in class?
Cows go moo.
What's yellow and can't swim?
A school bus full of disabled children.
You guys should be ashamed of yourselves, making fun of the disabled. After all, they can't stand up for themselves.
Why would you shoot up an innocent school... if your aimbot's dead and you can't commit headshots only?
What school can’t orphans go to?
Home school.
What bee doesn’t fly properly?
Kobe.