Cant jokes
Why can't Stephen Hawking go to heaven?
'Cause he'd walk up the stairs!
Why can't male orphans be gay?
Because they don't have anyone to call "daddy."
When you can’t have Chinese food because you don’t have any pets,
just eat African food, you have plenty of neighbors!
I can't sit down anymore... My dad went too far this time.
Little Johnny was living with his grandpa during the summer. Well, grandpa had a beer, and Johnny said, "Grandpa, let me get a sip of that." Grandpa said, "Well, lil Johnny, does your d**k reach your a**?" And lil Johnny said, "Well no sir." And grandpa said, then no, you can't.
Later that day, papaw (grandpa) had a cigar, and Johnny said let me get a hit of that, and papaw asked, "Well, Johnny, does your d**k reach your a**?" And Johnny said no again. Then papaw was shooting his gun, and Johnny asked if he could shoot it, and grandpa asked Johnny if his d**k reached his a**, and Johnny said no.
Well, after supper, Johnny's grandma made Johnny some ice cream (the most amazing bowl of ice cream EVER), and grandpa said, "Johnny, let me get a bit of that ice cream," and Johnny asked papaw, "Well, papaw, does your d**k reach your a**?" And papaw said, "Well, Johnny, as a matter of a fact, it does," and Johnny said, "Good, now go f**k yourself because you ain't getting none of my ice cream!"
I can't not believe you stupid fucks. This isn't funny. Just like a bunch of cunts not to believe there is nothing can't do.
BTW what do you call a manly woman's cunt? Nothing. Who gives a fuck?
Why can't fat kids change a tire?
They would eat the donut.
What do you call a wizard who can't secure a girl? Fumbledore.
Sippin' on promethazine With lean, I fell in love.
I can't put down the cup. I can't put down the cup. I can't put down the cup. I can't put down the cup. I can't put down the cup. I can't put down the cup.
Why I can’t be skinny? I hurt myself for fatting. - Jenny
Hello please I want gain wait. - Jenny year later.
Why can’t Helen Keller jump out of an airplane?
It scares the shit out of her dog.
What do you get when you cross a Chinese and an Indian man?
A car thief who can't drive.
Why can't Stephen Hawking win any arguments?
Because he can't stand up for himself.
Why can't you play Uno with a Mexican? Because they'll steal all the green cards.
Why is pounding your mom like playing video games?
Because once you start, you just can’t stop until you win!
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they can't find Homeplate.
You can’t say “dwarf” anymore; you have to say “little people”.
You can’t say “fat”; you have to say “plus size”.
You can’t say “retard”; you have to say “democrat”.
There's one shop orphans can't go to, but what is it?
Home Depot.
Lucifer's so broke he can't even afford air conditioning units.
Nothing is lost until Mom can't find it.