Cant jokes
Technoblade can defeat every Minecraft player, but he still can't defeat cancer!
Why can't an orphan be gay? Because they have no one to call "daddy."
Why can't male orphans be gay?
Because they don't have anyone to call "daddy."
Why can’t orphans date?
Because they have no one to call "daddy."
What can a dwarf do standing up that a tall person can't do standing up?
Give a blowjob.
Yo mama so fat she can't walk for five seconds without sweating, causing a tsunami!
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find home.
Why can't an orphan have sex?
Because they can't call them "daddy."
My friend died by a truck, why can't I get run over?
Why can’t an orphan play baseball?
Because they can’t find home.
Playing a game called 7-Up.
Student: Why can't I use a pencil to tap their fingers?
Teacher: It's cheating!
Student: No! It's the object of the game.
When you can’t have Chinese food because you don’t have any pets,
just eat African food, you have plenty of neighbors!
Why can't George Floyd breathe? He had a knee on his neck, stupid.
I can't sit down anymore... My dad went too far this time.
Little Johnny was living with his grandpa during the summer. Well, grandpa had a beer, and Johnny said, "Grandpa, let me get a sip of that." Grandpa said, "Well, lil Johnny, does your d**k reach your a**?" And lil Johnny said, "Well no sir." And grandpa said, then no, you can't.
Later that day, papaw (grandpa) had a cigar, and Johnny said let me get a hit of that, and papaw asked, "Well, Johnny, does your d**k reach your a**?" And Johnny said no again. Then papaw was shooting his gun, and Johnny asked if he could shoot it, and grandpa asked Johnny if his d**k reached his a**, and Johnny said no.
Well, after supper, Johnny's grandma made Johnny some ice cream (the most amazing bowl of ice cream EVER), and grandpa said, "Johnny, let me get a bit of that ice cream," and Johnny asked papaw, "Well, papaw, does your d**k reach your a**?" And papaw said, "Well, Johnny, as a matter of a fact, it does," and Johnny said, "Good, now go f**k yourself because you ain't getting none of my ice cream!"
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they can't find Homeplate.
Why can't fat kids change a tire?
They would eat the donut.
What do you call a wizard who can't secure a girl? Fumbledore.
Nothing is lost until Mom can't find it.
If a blind person can’t see, then do they sleep?
They’re the night watchers while people who see sleep.