Cant jokes

Yo mama so fat she can't walk for five seconds without sweating, causing a tsunami!

Why can’t an orphan play baseball?

Because they can’t find home.

Why can't orphans play baseball?

Because they can't find home.

What is an orphan's least favorite store?

Family Dollar, they just can’t seem to find one.

When you can’t have Chinese food because you don’t have any pets,

just eat African food, you have plenty of neighbors!

I can't sit down anymore... My dad went too far this time.

Little Johnny was living with his grandpa during the summer. Well, grandpa had a beer, and Johnny said, "Grandpa, let me get a sip of that." Grandpa said, "Well, lil Johnny, does your d**k reach your a**?" And lil Johnny said, "Well no sir." And grandpa said, then no, you can't.

Later that day, papaw (grandpa) had a cigar, and Johnny said let me get a hit of that, and papaw asked, "Well, Johnny, does your d**k reach your a**?" And Johnny said no again. Then papaw was shooting his gun, and Johnny asked if he could shoot it, and grandpa asked Johnny if his d**k reached his a**, and Johnny said no.

Well, after supper, Johnny's grandma made Johnny some ice cream (the most amazing bowl of ice cream EVER), and grandpa said, "Johnny, let me get a bit of that ice cream," and Johnny asked papaw, "Well, papaw, does your d**k reach your a**?" And papaw said, "Well, Johnny, as a matter of a fact, it does," and Johnny said, "Good, now go f**k yourself because you ain't getting none of my ice cream!"

Why can't orphans play baseball?

Because they have no home to run to.

Why can't you play Uno with a Mexican? Because they'll steal all the green cards.

What do you get when you cross a Chinese and an Indian man?

A car thief who can't drive.

Why can't Stephen Hawking win any arguments?

Because he can't stand up for himself.

I can't not believe you stupid fucks. This isn't funny. Just like a bunch of cunts not to believe there is nothing can't do.

BTW what do you call a manly woman's cunt? Nothing. Who gives a fuck?

What do you call a wizard who can't secure a girl? Fumbledore.

Why can't fat kids change a tire?

They would eat the donut.

Sippin' on promethazine With lean, I fell in love.

I can't put down the cup. I can't put down the cup. I can't put down the cup. I can't put down the cup. I can't put down the cup. I can't put down the cup.

Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they can't find Homeplate.

What's the difference between 9/11 and a cow?

You can't milk a cow for over 10 years.

God creates dog.

God: "You are man's best friend."

Dog: "That's pretty sexist."

God: "No, man as in- You know what, FUCK IT! You can't speak!"

Dog: "....."

God: "And chocolate kills you!"

Dog: "🐶"

10/7 is probably a spinoff of 9/11.

You can't convince me otherwise.

Why can't there be a gay disabled person?

Because a fruit can't be the same as a vegetable.