Cant jokes
Why can't a Chinese kid play baseball?
They ate the bat!
I wonder if Stephen Hawking heard the song "Gangster's Paradise." Oh, shit, he can't!
What is long, yellow and can’t swim?
A school bus full of orphans.
Why can’t orphans have sex?
They have no one to call “daddy.”
Why can't America play chess?
Because it lost two towers.
To start, I'm a big fella in size.
I saw a skinny guy act like Santa, so I went over to him. "You can't pull that off," I said. He said, "Then you try it." He gave me the Santa suit, and I dressed up. He walked by and saw me with 45 kids in line to sit on my lap and tell me what they wanted for Christmas.
(Note: this joke is not one of the worst jokes ever because it is obscene or offensive; it’s just a bad joke.) Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because they’re dead.
My mom said to let Jesus come inside me; now I can't sit down.
Why is pounding your mom like playing video games?
Because once you start, you just can’t stop until you win!
What can’t a Black person say to a police officer?
"Thanks for the warning."
Do you know why there are no pharmacies and pharmacists in Africa?
Because you can't take pills on an empty stomach!
Why are disabled people screwed?
Because you can't run or hide!
Why can’t you play Uno with Mexicans?
Because they steal all the green cards!
If I flip off an Asian person, he can't see it.
Why can't Jesus eat M&Ms?
They'll fall right through his hands.
Man, this walk is really good. Oh wait, you can't.
What's one thing a homing missile can't kill?
An orphan.
How many women does it take to change a light bulb?
None, they can't change anything.
Why can't orphans be criminals?
Because they're never wanted.
Why can’t two Asians make a white kid?
Because two wrongs don’t make a white.