Cant jokes
Why can’t you play Uno with Mexicans?
Because they steal all the green cards!
If I flip off an Asian person, he can't see it.
Why are disabled people screwed?
Because you can't run or hide!
Why can't you make jokes about catholic priests?
Because they blow up in your face.
You can't spell "Funeral" without "fun."
What's the second worst thing to happen to orphans?
They can't have sex.
"Why?"
Because they don't have anyone to call mommy or daddy.
Why can't Indians play baseball? Because every time they hit a corner, they open a shop.
What do you call a mom that can’t draw? Tracy.
Do you know why there are no pharmacies and pharmacists in Africa?
Because you can't take pills on an empty stomach!
What can’t a Black person say to a police officer?
"Thanks for the warning."
Why can’t Chinese people play baseball? Because they ate the bat!
Q: Why can’t Jesus make fun of gay people?
A: He got nailed first.
What is the difference between a light bulb and a pregnant woman?
You can't unscrew a pregnant woman.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can never get a home run.
How many women does it take to change a light bulb?
None, they can't change anything.
"Can't go under it, can't go over it, we gotta go through it!"
So this dude comes home from work one day, and his wife is watching the Food Network.
The husband asks, "Why do you watch that? You still can't cook," and the wife responds, "Why do you watch porn? You still can't f*ck."
Are you a border? 'Cause I can't get over you.
Why can't orphans be gay?
'Cause they can't call anyone "Daddy."
Why can't religion and science agree?
Because science creates skyscrapers, and religion combines with skyscrapers.