Cant jokes
What is one word orphans can't spell?
Family.
What's yellow and can't swim? My mom on Halloween.
Why can't you tell a joke in a corn maze?
Because there's too many ears.
What's the difference between a piano and a fish?
You can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish!
Why can't Jesus play hockey?
He keeps getting nailed to the boards.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They never hit home.
I would try to make a Fortnite joke, but I can't seem to build on it.
Why can’t orphans play sports?
Because they don’t have a home team.
There was a blind man in WWE, and the commentator said, "Watch out! Watch... Oh, he can’t see." After he was sued for national offense.
Asian Grading scale: A- Average.
B- Half Average.
C- Stupid idiot!
D- FAILURE! CAN'T EVEN DO CALCULUS!
F- FORGOTTEN FAILURE! CAN'T EVEN GET A JOB AT MCDONALDS!
What is long, yellow and can’t swim?
A school bus full of orphans.
Why can’t orphans have sex?
They have no one to call “daddy.”
I wonder if Stephen Hawking heard the song "Gangster's Paradise." Oh, shit, he can't!
Why can't America play chess?
Because it lost two towers.
To start, I'm a big fella in size.
I saw a skinny guy act like Santa, so I went over to him. "You can't pull that off," I said. He said, "Then you try it." He gave me the Santa suit, and I dressed up. He walked by and saw me with 45 kids in line to sit on my lap and tell me what they wanted for Christmas.
(Note: this joke is not one of the worst jokes ever because it is obscene or offensive; it’s just a bad joke.) Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because they’re dead.
My mom said to let Jesus come inside me; now I can't sit down.
Islamic pubs and bars are the worst.
You can't drink alcohol or dance.
Women can get stoned though, no questions asked.
Why can't Jesus eat M&Ms?
They'll fall right through his hands.
Man, this walk is really good. Oh wait, you can't.