Cant jokes
Y'all, I'm suspended till Wednesday and can't do much cuz I'm on a tablet, not my computer. Tell autterpop I won't be on till Wednesday or after.
Technoblade can defeat every Minecraft player, but he still can’t defeat cancer!
Why can't toilet paper cross the road? Because the toilet paper got stuck in a crack. 🤣🤣🤣
Since Christopher Reeves can't play Superman, they got a new person: Christopher Walken.
Why do orphans always get picked on?
They can't run and tell their parents.
What does a tuna, piano, and a tub of glue have in common?
You can tune a piano, but you can't piano a tuna.
But what about the glue? said Bob I. I knew you would get stuck on that!
A man was shaving in the bathroom when all of a sudden Bubba, the boy he payed to mow his lawn, comes in to take a piss. The man can't help but look over his shoulder and he is surprised at how well endowed he is, and he asks: "Bubba, what's your secret?"
Bubba replies: "Well, every night before I get in bed with a woman I whack my dick on the bedpost three times. It works, and it sure impresses the girls!"
The man was excited at this easy suggestion and decided to try it that very night, before he went to bed with his wife. So he got to bed and whacked his dick on the bedpost three times and the wife wakes up and says "Bubba, is that you?"
Why can't Jesus play hockey?
He keeps getting nailed to the boards.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They never hit home.
Why can’t orphans play sports?
Because they don’t have a home team.
Why can't you tell a joke in a corn maze?
Because there's too many ears.
I would try to make a Fortnite joke, but I can't seem to build on it.
What's the difference between a piano and a fish?
You can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish!
What is one word orphans can't spell?
Family.
What's yellow and can't swim? My mom on Halloween.
Asian Grading scale: A- Average.
B- Half Average.
C- Stupid idiot!
D- FAILURE! CAN'T EVEN DO CALCULUS!
F- FORGOTTEN FAILURE! CAN'T EVEN GET A JOB AT MCDONALDS!
I wonder if Stephen Hawking heard the song "Gangster's Paradise." Oh, shit, he can't!
What is long, yellow and can’t swim?
A school bus full of orphans.
Why can’t orphans have sex?
They have no one to call “daddy.”
Why can't America play chess?
Because it lost two towers.