Cant jokes

Maze

    • Why can't depressed people leave the maze?

    Because their lives are the walls and they are too scared to meet the exit.

  • 2

    • Gambler

    • A guy walks into a butcher's shop and says, "Sir, are you a gambling man?"

    The butcher says, "Why yes, as a matter of fact, I am."

    "Then I'll bet you $25 you can't reach up and touch that meat hanging over your head right there."

    The butcher thinks for a moment and says, "I'm sorry, I won't take that bet."

    The guy says, "But I thought you said you were a gambling man."

    "I am. But the steaks are too high."

  • 0

    • Grandmother

    • "My grandmother used to tell us a joke. She’d say, "Knock knock." We’d say, "Who’s there?" Then she’d say, "I can’t remember"... and start to cry."

  • 0

    • Feminist

    • How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? Are you kidding? Feminists can’t change anything.

  • 0

    • Baby

    • What's the difference between a dead baby and a slice of pizza?

    A dead baby can't feed a family.

  • 4

    • Congressman

    • A thief walks up to a man in a suit and pulls out a gun. The thief says: "Give me your money." The man in the suit turns around surprised. He raises his hands and says: "But, wait! You can't do that, I am a Congressman!" The thief replies: "Oh, sorry. Give me MY money."

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    • Jesus

    • Guy: Why can't Jesus have M&M's?

    Priest: Why?

    Guy: Because they'll fall through the hole in his hands.

  • 1

    • Game

    • Playing a game called 7-Up.

    Student: Why can't I use a pencil to tap their fingers?

    Teacher: It's cheating!

    Student: No! It's the object of the game.

    Comeback

    • Bully: "I bet your dick is so small when you look down in the shower you can't even see it."

    Guy: "No, I see your sister's head."

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