Cant jokes
There was a blind man in WWE, and the commentator said, "Watch out! Watch... Oh, he can’t see." After he was sued for national offense.
Why did God make men?
Because you can't teach a vibrator how to mow the lawn...
Why can't Miss Piggy count to 70?
Because when she gets to 69 there's a frog in her throat.
The last joke about the dad was a joke. Don't take it seriously. Can't believe that people actually think that was true.
To start, I'm a big fella in size.
I saw a skinny guy act like Santa, so I went over to him. "You can't pull that off," I said. He said, "Then you try it." He gave me the Santa suit, and I dressed up. He walked by and saw me with 45 kids in line to sit on my lap and tell me what they wanted for Christmas.
Why can't a cheetah play hide and seek?
Because he's always spotted.
Why do you make fun of disabled people?
They can't stand up for themselves.
What's the difference between a rock and a dead baby?
You can't fuck a rock.
My sister argued with me that you can't make a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen her face when I drove pasta!
What's Yellow and can't swim?
A bus full of dead babies.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because it's not original at all.
When you can’t have Chinese food because you don’t have any pets,
just eat African food, you have plenty of neighbors!
How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?
As many as you like. They can’t change anything.
Why does Stephen Hawking only do one-liners?
Because he can’t do stand-up.
To the man in the wheelchair who stole my camouflage jacket: you can hide, but you can’t run.
1: I wish my cancer could kill me quicker so I don't have to do this class anymore.
2: I'm dying, finally.
3: I'm sorry, I can't go to your party because I'm expected to be dead by then.
On a serious note, I might actually have cancer and I'm getting checks. I hope for the best :/
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They can't ever find home.
A drunk guy asked his penis: 《Tell me, how can you get shorter and longer and I can't?》
《Why don't you speak to me?》
《Stop getting shorter and longer or I will choke you.》
《Oh yeah, I like it ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)》
Hhhhhhhhh ♪(┌・。・)┌
Why can't a blonde call 911?
She can't find the 11.
I should be ashamed of myself for making all these jokes at the expense of the disabled! After all, they can't even stand up for themselves.