Cant jokes
What's the difference between a rock and a dead baby?
You can't fuck a rock.
My sister argued with me that you can't make a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen her face when I drove pasta!
What's Yellow and can't swim?
A bus full of dead babies.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because it's not original at all.
When you can’t have Chinese food because you don’t have any pets,
just eat African food, you have plenty of neighbors!
How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?
As many as you like. They can’t change anything.
Why does Stephen Hawking only do one-liners?
Because he can’t do stand-up.
To the man in the wheelchair who stole my camouflage jacket: you can hide, but you can’t run.
1: I wish my cancer could kill me quicker so I don't have to do this class anymore.
2: I'm dying, finally.
3: I'm sorry, I can't go to your party because I'm expected to be dead by then.
On a serious note, I might actually have cancer and I'm getting checks. I hope for the best :/
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They can't ever find home.
A drunk guy asked his penis: 《Tell me, how can you get shorter and longer and I can't?》
《Why don't you speak to me?》
《Stop getting shorter and longer or I will choke you.》
《Oh yeah, I like it ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)》
Hhhhhhhhh ♪(┌・。・)┌
Why can't a blonde call 911?
She can't find the 11.
I should be ashamed of myself for making all these jokes at the expense of the disabled! After all, they can't even stand up for themselves.
Why is an orphan so bad at baseball?
Because they can't make it to home.
Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house?
Yes, houses can't jump at all.
What's the best part about beating up an orphan?
They can't tell their parents.
How many feminists does it take to fix a lightbulb?
None. Feminists can't change anything.
A husband walks into his house to find his wife watching Gordon Ramsay's F-king cooking show!
Husband: "Stop watching that f-king sh*t! You can't cook to save your life!"
Wife: "So what?! You watch porn, don't you?!"
How many feminazis does it take to change a light bulb?
None, because they can't change anything.
Friend: I have the eye of the tiger.
Me: So what? I have the balls of a gorilla.
Parents: We can't come back to the zoo next week!