Cant jokes
Why is an orphan so bad at baseball?
Because they can't make it to home.
Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house?
Yes, houses can't jump at all.
What's the best part about beating up an orphan?
They can't tell their parents.
How many feminists does it take to fix a lightbulb?
None. Feminists can't change anything.
A husband walks into his house to find his wife watching Gordon Ramsay's F-king cooking show!
Husband: "Stop watching that f-king sh*t! You can't cook to save your life!"
Wife: "So what?! You watch porn, don't you?!"
How many feminazis does it take to change a light bulb?
None, because they can't change anything.
Friend: I have the eye of the tiger.
Me: So what? I have the balls of a gorilla.
Parents: We can't come back to the zoo next week!
Why can’t you high five a Japanese person?
Because Logan Paul left him hanging.
If we can't see air, can fish see water?
Why can't an orphan go on away games?
Their parent will never show up!
Why can't you hear a dinosaur clap? They're dead.
What's yellow and can't float?
A school bus full of children.
If we can't see air, can fish see water?
Q: Why can't dinosaurs clap?
A: Because they're dead.
Why can't you play poker in the jungle? Because there are too many cheetahs!
Why can't Stephen Hawking go to heaven?
'Cause he'd walk up the stairs!
A blind person walks into a bar.
Because they can’t see where they are going.
Why can't America play chess?
They're missing two towers.
Why can't orphans play baseball? They can't find their parents.
What’s the difference between a tuna and a tube of glue?
You can tuna piano but you can't piano a tuna.
What happened to the glue?
I knew you would get stuck on that!