Cant jokes
Stephen Hawking went on a date and came back with a broken leg. I can't believe she stood him up.
What's the difference between jam and jelly?
You can't jelly your way into someone's pants.
What's the difference between a fish and a car?
You can tune a car... but you can't TUNA fish! x3
Why can't Helen Keller drive?
'Cause she's a woman.
No, really. Why can't she drive?
Because she died.
Why can’t orphans play baseball? They don’t know where home is.
Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon?
Because she’ll let it goo!
Spongebob is yellow, and he can't drive.
Must be Asian.
Why can't Helen Keller drive?
Because she's a woman.
Why can't pirates play cards? Because they're standing on the deck.
Two blondes fell in a hole and one asked, "It's dark in here, isn't it?" and the other one says, "I don't know, I can't see."
Why can't a dinosaur clap? Because it's dead.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They can't find home.
What do you do after you rape a deaf girl?
Cut off her fingers so she can't tell anyone.
Why can't Helen Keller drive?
'Cause she's already dead.
Hey, cobalt can't. But tin can ;)
A horse and a bear walk into a bar... Oh wait, can't tell that one!
"I can't wait for Thanksgiving!" said the turkey.
What's the difference between peanut butter and jam? I can't peanut butter my dick up your ass.
Why can't dinosaurs clap? Because they're dead!
It's funny how Stephen Hawking sounds like Stephen walking or Stephen talking, but he can't do any of those things.