Cant jokes
Why can't a dinosaur clap? Because it's dead.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They can't find home.
What do you do after you rape a deaf girl?
Cut off her fingers so she can't tell anyone.
Why can't Helen Keller drive?
'Cause she's already dead.
Hey, cobalt can't. But tin can ;)
A horse and a bear walk into a bar... Oh wait, can't tell that one!
"I can't wait for Thanksgiving!" said the turkey.
What's the difference between peanut butter and jam? I can't peanut butter my dick up your ass.
Why can't dinosaurs clap? Because they're dead!
It's funny how Stephen Hawking sounds like Stephen walking or Stephen talking, but he can't do any of those things.
How do Chinese people play in Spy?
They can't.
Why can't dinosaurs clap?
Because they're dead.
North Korea and the Martians were fighting about who was going to reach Venus first.
Trump steps in and says, "That doesn't matter, America is going to land on the sun first."
The Martians and North Korea said, "You can't land on the sun, it's too hot and you will die."
Trump said his brilliant plan, "America is going to land there at night."
Why can't the blind man see? Because he can't see.
A man with no arms is tasked with a lot of jobs. Then he says to his boss, "I can't handle all of this!"
They have a new line of socks for paraplegics.
They are so comfortable they can't even feel them.
This one time I said that John Cena looks like crap.
But I realized I can't see him. LOL!
Why can't Sally swing?
Because she has no arms.
Knock knock, "Who's there?", not Sally.
Where did Sally go when the bombs dropped?
Everywhere.
A man woke up from a serious surgery. He screamed, "Doctor! Doctor! I can't feel my legs!" And the doctor replied, "I know. I amputated your arms."
A man and a giraffe walk into a bar. The man orders a beer, one for him and one for the giraffe.
After they finish their drinks, the giraffe falls over, and the man gets his stuff and heads for the door.
The bartender says, "Stop! You can't leave that thing lying on the floor!"
The man says, "Mate, that's not a lion, it's a giraffe."