So I told the officer, "I can't even walk when I'm sober."
Why shouldn't orphans get a phone?
They would get stuck in an app because they can't find the home button.
So this dude comes home from work one day, and his wife is watching the Food Network.
The husband asks, "Why do you watch that? You still can't cook," and the wife responds, "Why do you watch porn? You still can't f*ck."
What do blind kids and orphans have in common?
Both can't see their parents.
I told a crippled guy he is immortal because he can't kick the bucket.
A kid named Timmy said to his dad that he had sex with his teacher, and his dad was proud of him and gave him a bike.
The kid said, "I can't use it; my butt hurts!"
What's George Floyd's newest song?
"I can't breathe."
What's big and white and can't climb trees?
A fridge.
Why can't Chinese people play baseball?
Because they ate the bat.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't get a home run.
Shut the fuck up, you fat bitch. You always like to roast others, but you can't walk up the stairs without passing out, you fat, stupid bitch. And I caught you breaking into someone's house just to steal a piece of candy, fat-ass bitch.
What's a similarity of an orphan and a deaf kid?
They both can't hear their parents.
Why did Jesus die at the diving Olympics? Because he can't go through water.
You're so ugly, even a Snapchat filter can't fix it.
I can't think of any jokes.
Why can't orphans use iPhones?
They can't find the home button.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
'Cause they can't run home.
Why can't Asians have a white baby? Because two wongs don't make a white.
How many women does it take to change a light bulb?
None, they can't change anything.
Your hairline goes so far back your mom can't even reach it.
