Cant jokes
Why can’t the USA play chess?
Because they lost their two towers.
There's a new Viagra and prune juice diet that's out.
Unfortunately, you can't tell if you're coming or going.
Why can’t orphans go to jail? Because they aren’t wanted.
What's Michael Jackson's favorite things to say to little boys? "I'd really love to see you-hoo-hoo tonight," and "I can't smile without you-hoo-hoo."
You know how people say white men can’t jump? Well, you should check the 9/11 footage.
Man, this walk is really good. Oh wait, you can't.
Why can't Michael Jackson go within 500m of a school zone?
Because he's dead.
I can’t stand jokes about Germans.
They’re the wurst.
Why can't you kill a hooker?
Because they're dead inside anyway.
Why should you always give an emo a high five in the hallway? You can’t leave them hanging.
Why can't Juice WRLD hit rock bottom?
Because he's too high.
What do you call a can opener that doesn't work?
A can't opener.
Why do teenage girls hang out in odd-numbered groups?
Because they can't even.
What’s the worst thing about having a sister with cancer? You can’t pull on her hair.
What’s the worst thing about having a daughter with cancer? You can’t pull on her hair.
What’s the worst thing about having a wife with cancer? You can’t pull on her hair.
What did the North Tower say to the South Tower? I can’t talk right now, I gotta catch a plane.
When slave owners can't get a girlfriend, do they MASTERbate?
What do you call two Chinese lesbians?
Two can't chew.
What’s the difference between an enzyme and a hormone?
You can’t hear an enzyme.