Cant jokes

What’s the worst thing about having a daughter with cancer? You can’t pull on her hair.

What’s the worst thing about having a wife with cancer? You can’t pull on her hair.

What did the North Tower say to the South Tower? I can’t talk right now, I gotta catch a plane.

When slave owners can't get a girlfriend, do they MASTERbate?

What do you call two Chinese lesbians?

Two can't chew.

What’s the difference between an enzyme and a hormone?

You can’t hear an enzyme.

I'm okay with giving babies iPads, as long as the baby has anencephaly.

You can't get brain rot if you don't have a brain!

What’s one thing a man can do that a woman can’t?

Sit down and shut up.

Why is pounding your mom like playing video games?

Because once you start, you just can’t stop until you win!

What’s the worst thing about having a daughter with cancer?

You can’t pull on her hair when you’re raping her.

My cousin said he wonders why people have sex with animals, and now I can’t stop thinking about it.

Ol’ McDonald had a farm e-I-e-I-oh.

You can’t say “dwarf” anymore; you have to say “little people”.

You can’t say “fat”; you have to say “plus size”.

You can’t say “retard”; you have to say “democrat”.

Why can't the orphan take a family photo?

Answer: The orphan has no family to take a picture with.

Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they can't find Homeplate.

109 countries can't be wrong. Watch Europa: The Last Battle.

The tortoise can't go out to play, Or sell his house or rent it. For when he moves, his house moves too, And nothing can prevent it.

Why can’t trans men enjoy chocolate?

It uses Hershey pronouns.

In light of Trump's slurring, staggering, and incoherence, I wondered if he should get checked for a brain tumor.

Then I realized how ridiculous that sounded.

A tumor can't grow in something that doesn't exist in the first place.

I hate how politically correct the world is these days, you can't even say "black paint."

You have to say, "Leroy, please paint that wall!"

NSFW Why can't women ever tell men where the clitoris is?

'Cause it's a place to eat.