We send millions of mosquito nets to Africa; we can save millions of mosquitoes from dying of AIDS.
Canning Jokes
What’s the difference between weed and pussy?
If you can smell weed from across the room, it means the weed's good.
What’s one thing you can say during family dinner and in bed?
"Will there be seconds?"
What's the rarest gun you can find in Africa? A water gun.
lmao why do people think they can fly?
Yo mama so fat I can see where you got in from now.
What is the difference between Usain Bolt and Hitler?
Usain Bolt can finish a race.
How can you be fast and slow at the same time, getting a gold medal in the Special Olympics?
Why can orphans travel around so much?
A. They never get homesick.
What are the similarities between a blind person and an orphan?
Neither can see their parents.
Why do orphans go to church?
It's the only place where they can call someone "father."
If you jump off a building and yell "parkour," how can they tell that it was intentional? T'was a failed stunt.
Why does an orphan go to a sewer?
So it can wash up.
What are the similarities of GTA V and 9/11? A plane can be stolen and crashed into a building by a bunch of terrorists.
I asked my mom if I can help her out with the cooking, she answered yes.
A few hours later, dinner was ready and dad came to join. Mother said, "Honey, can you get the mashed potatoes?" Dad said, "Why, she’s right here."
When someone calls me ugly, I get sad and hug them.
I know life can be difficult for those with weak vision.
“My Mum told me the best time to ask my Dad for anything was during sex. Not the best advice I’d ever been given.
I burst in through the bedroom door saying, ‘Can I have a new bike?’ He was very upset. His secretary was surprisingly nice about it. I got the bike.”
Why was the Pokemon under your bed? So it can Pikachu.
Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house?
Yes, houses can't jump at all.
How can you tell a bow n' arrows scared?
He starts to quiver! ;)