Canning jokes

What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer? She can wash her crack and resell it.

One of my students asks, "Can I have a bookmark?"

A year of school and they still don't know my name is Danny.

Why can you bully orphans?

What are they gonna do, tell their parents? Oh wait, they got no parents.

In the new Justice League movie, Flash can break glass by touching it, why is that?

Because Flash is not supported on Windows.

Don't tell me I haven't got balls. I just happen to wear mine on my chest, and I can guarantee they're a lot bigger than yours!

When I die, I’ll die in a trash can.

Me and a wheelchair person were playing tag, and I broke my leg so it can be fair for him.

They say we have a primal sense, that we can just feel when someone is watching us.

It’s been a few weeks, and it's clear that you do not have that sense.

Not a joke, but this needs saying. Please can someone do something about all the pedo posts on here. It’s honestly just nasty.

Can emos eat happy meals?

Why do orphans love tennis?

Because it is the only place they can get love.

How many people can you fit in a car?

6 - 3 in the back, 2 in the front, and my nan in the ashtray.

I, for one, give President Joe Biden my full support, and anything else he can find in my previously rented gym locker. 🤣

How many orphans can you fit in a bag of chips?

One, if the bag is family size.

Why can an orphan never get picked up?

Because the white van did not come that day. HAHA BIG LOL

Husband: Can we try anal tonight? Wife: Fuck that shit! Husband: That's the spirit!

Why can orphans never go to the shops?

'Cause the Talibans will plane dive into them.

If a bird flies, and a duck can also run and fly, while a cat walks, why do we drink water?

What do a deaf person and an orphan have in common? Neither of them can hear their parents.

What type of deer can jump higher than a house?

All houses can't jump.