New Cancer Jokes

Everyone becomes happy when they complete the last stage of the game.

But the cancer patients aren't.

What's the difference between me and my mate...

I left my dad, while hers left with their friend Cancer.

Did you hear about the baby with cancer? It never gets old.

Boobs are like friends: you have big ones, small ones, real ones, fake ones, but they all get taken out by cancer.

What is the difference between Nicole Brown Simpson and cancer?

OJ couldn’t kill cancer.

What’s the difference between a cancer patient and a British news reporter in the South?

They usually don’t live to tell the tale.

What's black and eats Kitty?

Serval cancer.

The 5 year old with cancer is going through a mid-life crisis.

Doctor: What is your zodiac sign?

Patient: Cancer, why?

Doctor: What are the chances?

Patient: Of what?

Did you hear about the story of the husband who told his wife she’d look sexier with her hair back?

Apparently, that’s not a nice thing to say to cancer patients.

A young man cracked a joke about dementia to his friend on the bus. The old man sitting next to him politely asked, “Can you stop making jokes about terminal diseases?”

He replied, “Yes, I cancer.” Then he cracked tumor.

EMINEM: His palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy.

WebMD: Cancer.

In the hospital, I saw a girl with cancer trying to sleep. The ICU was going beep beep beep. I think that's why she can't sleep, so I turned it off. She's asleep forever now. Nighty night.

When your girlfriend has been vomiting for 2 weeks and you find out she’s not pregnant.

Bf-*yes I knew it was a prank*

She has cancer.

Want one way to get a free haircut?

Call the cancer hotline.

One day at school, I made fun of a girl who lost her hair from cancer, and my parents made me shave my head.

The next day at school, I made fun of an orphan.

I saw a dad shave his daughter's head because she made fun of a woman with cancer.

Good thing she didn’t make fun of a pregnant woman 🤭

How do you cure a ginger?

Chemotherapy.

What do children with cancer and Russian soldiers have in common? Their life doesn't last long.

I would go suck some titties, but I’d rather die from being shot than cancer.

Imagine this scenario: a doctor walks in and tells the patient that he has all the illnesses in the world like this: "You have depression, diarrhea, cancer,... etc." and then the last one on the list is that he is deaf.