Cancer jokes

For so long, I thought I was a Gemini, apparently I'm Cancer!

North Korea?

What's the best thing about stage 4 cancer... no stage 5.

Technoblade

Patient number 14 was diagnosed with stage 4 melanoma—a type of skin cancer. Pretty ironic how he travels. He went to terminal 14.

What did the doctor say to the orphan?

"I can't help you with cancer, I'm a family doctor!"

"I have cancer," the doctor said. "I have 3 days to live," but I was like "fuck it" and killed him. The jury said, "I have life in prison." I shouted, "Yes!" He said, "Thank you, you saved my life!"

A child with cancer: "I want to be like you when I grow up." Doctor: "Oh, you're not going to grow up."

Do you know what it takes to beat cancer?

Heartbeat.

Your hairline is so repulsive that my entire family got eye cancer from seeing it, and it goes so far back that you be looking like Vegeta.

Rape jokes like cancer jokes or AIDS jokes are just humorous wordplay. If you don't agree, send me your details, and we'll see if you prefer actual rape to a harmless rape joke... YOU SAD SACKS OF HUMORLESS SHIT MUNCHERS!

When the doctor asks you what your zodiac sign is,

You respond: "cancer."

Doctor says: "Well, what a coincidence!"

I'm sorry your dad beat you instead of cancer.

If you feel a lump in your rice, you fucked up.

If you feel a lump in your skin, you have cancer.

My stepdad has stage 4 cancer and is going through chemotherapy... at least he saves money on shampoo and conditioner.

Disney just released a new film about a poor kid with cancer. It’s called Finding Chemo.

All zodiac signs have a signature hairstyle except for cancer. :)

What’s the best part of stage four cancer?

A: There’s no stage five.

You're an orphan and blind. You have cancer. You will die in 3 days. Merry Xmas!

My grandma just died from cancer.

My last words to her were “I like your cut, G.”