Cancer jokes

What does the blind, deaf child get for Christmas?

Cancer.

What's the most expensive haircut in the world?

Chemotherapy.

We wrote letters to a kid with cancer. My letter read, "It's a bumpy road but soon you will have a straight path." People didn't realize it was meant for his heart monitor.

How do you recover from prostate cancer surgery?

It’s all Depends!

What do you call a malignant cell in Paris?

A Royale with cancer.

How would you best describe prostate cancer?

Well, it is somewhere between a dick and an asshole!

What did the cancer cell say to its neighbor?

"Mind if I join you?"

What does a kid with cancer and a house fly have in common?

A life expectancy of 15-25 days.

Cancer jokes really grow on you--unlike the patients' hair.

Q: What's the difference between me and cancer?

A: My dad didn't beat cancer...

What did the make-a-wish kid say to the staff? "I don't wanna go to Disneyland, I wanna live longer."

A man goes for his annual checkup. Afterward, he's sitting in the doctor's office, and the doctor comes in with the results of his tests. The doctor says, "I have some bad news; you have cancer and Alzheimer's." The man replies, "Well, at least I don't have cancer."

Ur mom.

"Ho, ho, ho, what do you want for Christmas, little boy? Longer than two months to live."

The earth is flat.

If you are going to make fun of someone, make fun of orphans. What are they going to do, tell their parents?

Double whammy.

Dark humor is like a kid with cancer, it never gets old.

Son: Mom, I did the test and I have cancer!

Mom: YOU HAVE CANCER?!

Son: Mom, as my zodiac symbol...

Mom:....

Oliver Savage's life.

A woman comes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, I think I have cancer." The doctor checks it out. "It’s all in your head," the doctor says. "Phew," said the woman. "A bunch of tumors, all in your head."

I love it when cancer hits like a ton of bricks. The best part is when it kills people.