Cancer jokes

After a lord comes back from vacation, he meets the gardener at the gates of his park.

Lord: "Has something happened while I was gone?"

Gardener: "Ah, nothing much, I just broke a shovel while I was burying your dog."

Lord: "My dog died?!"

Gardener: "Yes, it choked on the smoke when your mansion burnt down."

Lord: "My mansion?! How?!"

Gardener: "Well, your wife was distraught and dropped a candle on the curtains."

Lord: "Why was she so distraught?"

Gardener: "She received the news of your daughter being kidnapped."

Lord: "My daughter! Don't you have any positive news for me?!"

Gardener: "Oh right! Your cancer test results!"

How many cancer patients does it take to change a lightbulb? 10, 1 to change the lightbulb, 9 to talk about how inspired they are?

Cancer.

Why do toy bears have small eyes? Because they were made in China.

What did the girl get for Christmas?

Cancer.

Yes, Stephen Hawking is alive.

YEET!

Submit joke here.

A player in Baldi's Basics says, "Why are you bald?"

Baldi responds, "Well, I have cancer."

The player says, "Oh, good for you!"

Jake Paul is some ass.

Anime cats.

I got nothing.

Yeet.

So I made a simple cancer joke on Roblox with my friend, and then both her dumb-ass friends were like, "OMG WHY WOULD U SAY DAT? YOUR HORRIBLE!!" That pissed me off. Like damn woman, it's not like I said, "IF PEOPLE IN YOUR FAMILY DIED FROM CANCER THAT MEANS YOU AND YOUR FAMILY ARE ALL DUMB-ASSES." If anything they are actually dumb asses but hey. Also they can't talk. They don't know that I'm abused everyday at home and pressured to get good grades or else I'd get my head bashed against a wall till there is blood. So if they are reading this, SUCK MY ASS BITCH.

Stage 4 cancer is like a woman. You can’t beat it, but if you do, she’ll probably come back again.

What do you do when you get rid of prostate cancer?

Cell-ablate!

The Make-A-Wish Foundation has gone too far. All of the Make-A-Wish kids asked for cancer to be gone, so they just gave the cancer to all of the Make-A-Wish kids.

What's the difference between cancer and a Nazi? Cancer doesn't discriminate.

I told my mother I'm a sexy cunt. She said, "No, you got cancer, you twat."

My mother said I'm sexy. I said no, I have cancer.

What’s the difference between a prostitute and cancer?

A prostitute can beat my dick any day, but a prostitute can’t beat cancer.