Can Jokes

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

What is the difference between tuna a piano and glue? you can tuna piano but you cannot piano a tuna. (the person you ask should say what about the glue) response: I knew you would get stuck there.

Why are all women's feet small? So they can stand closer to the stove

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

A physicist, an engineer and a programmer were in a car driving over a steep alpine pass when the brakes failed. The car was getting faster and faster, they were struggling to get round the corners and once or twice only the feeble crash barrier saved them from crashing down the side of the mountain. They were sure they were all going to die, when suddenly they spotted an escape lane. They pulled into the escape lane, and came safely to a halt.

The physicist said, "We need to model the friction in the brake pads and the resultant temperature rise, see if we can work out why they failed."

The engineer said, "I think I've got a few spanners in the back. I'll take a look and see if I can work out what's wrong."

The programmer said, "Why don't we get going again and see if it's reproducible?"

I'll never forget my aunt's last words before she died "can you stop shaking the latter please"

The son margarine shows his father his test that he failed. Father: son you can do butter

How many people can you fit in a car? 6 - 3 in the back, 2 in the front and my nan in the ash tray.

why can you bully orphans? what are they gonna do tell there parents. oh wait they got no parents

Why can orphans never go to the shops?

Cus the talibans will plane dive into them.

Can watersharky and Gwen comment on this. I need to talk to u guys

If a bird flies, and a duck can also run and fly, while a cat walks, why do we drink water?

As an honest Penaldo fan I have to admit he is a penalty merchant. He can only score against farmer teams like Spezia. He never shows up against great teams like Barcelona. I've come to realize my hero Penaldo will never be better than Messi. My idol Penaldo is sadly finished.

I'll stop with the horrible puns if chu can say a good joke

Kid: my parents want to meet you, you wanna come over. Orphan: Na I’m good, I’m going to watch home alone, it’s the only movie that I can think of that’s related to me.