Can jokes
I can always tell if someone is lying just by looking at them.
I can also tell if they are standing.
People should build orphanages next to graveyards so at least orphans can see their parents.
With the sentence "Die in hell," you can buy shoes in Germany.
I had sex with a disabled girl. You can say I handiclapped those cheeks.
Chuck Norris can toss Jupiter at the Sun with his bare hands.
And he still cannot win a fighting match against Bruce Lee.
Can we have sex, because if we don't, I can't like you, big, thick booty!
So let's have sex in bed, you sexy woman, or behind a tree, because shoving my dick in your pussy is a very nice feeling while sucking your ass.
Two scientists walk into a bar. The first one says, "Can I have a drink of H2O?" Then the second says, "Can I have a drink of H2O2?" and he dies.
A weasel walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Wow, I've never served a weasel before, what can I get you?" "Pop," goes the weasel.
Why are Democrats represented by the donkey? Because some Democrats can be such an ass!
Donald Trump and the Pope were standing on a platform in front of a crowd of people. The Pope said to Donald Trump, “I can make everyone in this audience happy with one small swipe of my hand.”
Donald Trump replies, “That’s not possible. You’ll have to show me.” Then the Pope slaps him.
Q: How do you get a squirrel to like you? A: Act like a nut! 😂
Q: Why don't eggs tell jokes? A: Because they'd crack each other up.
Son: Dad, can you put my shoes on? Dad: No, son, I don't think they would fit me.
I'm on a seafood diet. When I see food, I eat it.
I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me.
Prince will be coming back in 10 mins here is a joke.
Gwen: Prince sorry but I'm wanting someone else instead. You've just been a complete jackass toward me, sorry good night.
Prince: Please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Gwen: Good night!
Prince: Why?
Gwen: Because...now good night!
Prince: We can work some things out?
Gwen: Nope...NOW GOOD NIGHT!!!!!!!!
To be continued
So, my dad was drinking, so he was drunk, and I was sad. But can you be my friend, please?
Kenny: "Tyler, you're lucky you're adopted."
Tyler: "Why?"
Kenny: "Because you can fuck your mom without getting arrested for incest."
Can I die?
Why do orphans play GTA?
To be wanted.
Why do orphanages give out free phones?
So you can press the home button.
How can you tell an anti-vaccine kid?
It's only got 10 hours to live.
Son: Hey Dad, can I play Fortnite?
Dad: I don't know, do you want a girlfriend?
How can you tell if Google is a girl?
It makes suggestions before you finish your sentence!
I went up to a priest and asked if he participated in NNN. He replied, "How can I, with all these people calling me daddy?"