Can jokes
Why is an orphan's favorite game Monopoly?
Because they can actually buy a house.
Why was the Pokemon under your bed? So it can Pikachu.
Hey guys, can we stop making these jokes? If my mom sees this, I will never see the sun again.
Oh . . .
:(
Continue.
When someone calls me ugly, I get sad and hug them.
I know life can be difficult for those with weak vision.
The daughter walks up to her father and asks him, "Dad, can I ask you something?"
The father says, "Of course, what's your question?"
The daughter replies and asks, "How do you feel about abortion?"
The father says, "Why don't you ask your sister?"
The daughter replies, "I don't have a sis-"
My friend and I were at the mall and decided to try on some necklaces. He said, "I think you should get the one over there." I do. I look at my friend and he’s wearing one with a little extra length so you can adjust it. I asked him, "Did you just break away from your owner to upgrade to clothes and shoes?"
A girl in my class started barking, and I yelled out, "Furry!" Everyone started laughing at her, and I felt bad. After school, I asked to drive her home, and one the way there I apologized and then told her to count down from 10 - 1. Before she said one, I yelled, "THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!" then I jumped out the car.
Why do Asians excel at math?
Because their dog can never eat their homework.
Why can North Korea draw a straight line? Because they've got a supreme ruler.
What's the difference between Palestine and yo mama?
Yo mama can be found on Google maps.
I'm so jealous of babies with anencephaly.
They can eat all the ice cream they want and never get brain freezes.
Can we have sex, because if we don't, I can't like you, big, thick booty!
So let's have sex in bed, you sexy woman, or behind a tree, because shoving my dick in your pussy is a very nice feeling while sucking your ass.
I drove through a school zone and found out you can drag a speed bump 😬.
Chuck Norris can toss Jupiter at the Sun with his bare hands.
And he still cannot win a fighting match against Bruce Lee.
I can always tell if someone is lying just by looking at them.
I can also tell if they are standing.
People should build orphanages next to graveyards so at least orphans can see their parents.
I had sex with a disabled girl. You can say I handiclapped those cheeks.
Islamic pubs and bars are the worst.
You can't drink alcohol or dance.
Women can get stoned though, no questions asked.
With the sentence "Die in hell," you can buy shoes in Germany.
9/11 isn't something we should joke about. Some people can remember where they were when they found out. I'll never forget where I was when I found out.
It was 9:37, September 10th, 2001. I was in a cave in Iraq when my friend Mohammad told me.