Can jokes

My friend and I were at the mall and decided to try on some necklaces. He said, "I think you should get the one over there." I do. I look at my friend and he’s wearing one with a little extra length so you can adjust it. I asked him, "Did you just break away from your owner to upgrade to clothes and shoes?"

A girl in my class started barking, and I yelled out, "Furry!" Everyone started laughing at her, and I felt bad. After school, I asked to drive her home, and one the way there I apologized and then told her to count down from 10 - 1. Before she said one, I yelled, "THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!" then I jumped out the car.

Why do Asians excel at math?

Because their dog can never eat their homework.

Why can North Korea draw a straight line? Because they've got a supreme ruler.

Can two high-femme lesbians go on a date with each other?

Yes, but it will take them forever to get ready.

If a furry looks like an animal, sounds like animal, and acts like an animal, can I run over it with my car like an animal?

How can you tell if a man is straight? You don't have to, he will tell you.

9/11 isn't something we should joke about. Some people can remember where they were when they found out. I'll never forget where I was when I found out.

It was 9:37, September 10th, 2001. I was in a cave in Iraq when my friend Mohammad told me.

Pro tip kids, you CAN hit an orphan because they can't cry to their parents!

What can a gay man not be, but a heterosexual female that is a whore can be if a heterosexual male gives her enough money? 💸

cock teaser

BF: Babe, I have two questions.

GF: Ok, ask!

BF: Where have you been all my life?

GF: Aww, that's so sweet. And the second question?

BF: Can you please go back there?

Hey! This site has a home page, but I wonder if the orphans can see it.

What game can an emo play on their wrists without an ink pen?

Tic-tac-toe.

What do emo boys and emo girls have in common? They both wanna die and cut so they can die faster, but they are already dead, already dead to me!

Using pi, distract the fat kid next to you so you can copy his answers.

*P.O.V orphan wanting to go on school trip/camp*

Teacher: “Can I have your parent's signature? It isn’t filled out.”

Orphan: “Um yeah.... That’s gonna be hard....”

Teacher: “Why?”

Orphan: “I just have to find them first....”

A kid had school today.

He was late every single day. He said in his mind, "I wish I can go to school again." What happened? It's obvious...... He died :)

What's the worst thing you can say to a widow?

"I'm sorry, I just had to."

What do black parents and elevators have in common?

Neither of them can raise anything without a belt.

I drove through a school zone and found out you can drag a speed bump 😬.