Can jokes

A weasel walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Wow, I've never served a weasel before, what can I get you?" "Pop," goes the weasel.

Two scientists walk into a bar. The first one says, "Can I have a drink of H2O?" Then the second says, "Can I have a drink of H2O2?" and he dies.

Chuck Norris can toss Jupiter at the Sun with his bare hands.

And he still cannot win a fighting match against Bruce Lee.

I drove through a school zone and found out you can drag a speed bump 😬.

I can always tell if someone is lying just by looking at them.

I can also tell if they are standing.

People should build orphanages next to graveyards so at least orphans can see their parents.

Can you go as a horse for Halloween?

Well, if you do, I can't wait to ride you!

9/11 isn't something we should joke about. Some people can remember where they were when they found out. I'll never forget where I was when I found out.

It was 9:37, September 10th, 2001. I was in a cave in Iraq when my friend Mohammad told me.

How can you tell if a man is straight? You don't have to, he will tell you.

What's the worst thing you can say to a widow?

"I'm sorry, I just had to."

*P.O.V orphan wanting to go on school trip/camp*

Teacher: “Can I have your parent's signature? It isn’t filled out.”

Orphan: “Um yeah.... That’s gonna be hard....”

Teacher: “Why?”

Orphan: “I just have to find them first....”

If a furry looks like an animal, sounds like animal, and acts like an animal, can I run over it with my car like an animal?

Pro tip kids, you CAN hit an orphan because they can't cry to their parents!

BF: Babe, I have two questions.

GF: Ok, ask!

BF: Where have you been all my life?

GF: Aww, that's so sweet. And the second question?

BF: Can you please go back there?

Hey! This site has a home page, but I wonder if the orphans can see it.

What can a gay man not be, but a heterosexual female that is a whore can be if a heterosexual male gives her enough money? 💸

cock teaser

What game can an emo play on their wrists without an ink pen?

Tic-tac-toe.

What do emo boys and emo girls have in common? They both wanna die and cut so they can die faster, but they are already dead, already dead to me!

A kid had school today.

He was late every single day. He said in his mind, "I wish I can go to school again." What happened? It's obvious...... He died :)

Why are Democrats represented by the donkey? Because some Democrats can be such an ass!