Can jokes

9 year olds can consent. That’s like 18 divided by 2.

What are two plus sides to being an orphan?

1. All your snacks are family sized.

2. No one can make jokes about your mama.

What store can an orphan never find?

Home Depot.

Instead of the line, "This girl's on fire," my friend can relate to, "The baby in the oven's on fire, and I need to take it the f*ck out!"

Cop: "I'm arresting you for downloading the entire Wikipedia."

Man: "Wait! I can explain everything!"

What’s the difference between my ex and a unicycle?

A unicycle can only take one person at a time.

I am whooping my doge's a$$. If you like, you can free him.

Hey dude, can you spell IHOP?

Sure, man. I. H. O. P.

Wait, you ate my pee!!!

If her age is on the clock, she can sit on my cock.

I asked my friend how long I can be in the sky. He said if you are emo, then forever.

Did you know an orphan is deeply religious because they can finally call someone "father."

I can swallow two pieces of string and when they come out the other end, they'll be tied together. I shit you knot.

Why do horny, deaf girls wear tight pants?

So you can read her lips.

What is a thing orphans have that we can never have?

Imaginary parents.

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Looking out for becoming a pilot, can y'all suggest some good mosques?

Don't want to learn the landing part, though, Allah said it's unnecessary.

Yo forehead so big, an airplane can use that as a runway!

How does a disabled man go to church? He can't, there's no ramp.

What is fully grown but can fit through small objects? Michael Jackson.

What do orphans and police not have in common?

The police can actually go home.