Can jokes

Your mom is heavier than Mariah can even carry.

Your forehead is so big, you can fit Santa’s sack on it.

The guy in the wheelchair at my gym can do so many pull-ups with the wheelchair on, but I said to him, "Don't skip leg day."

Autoerotic asphyxiation because hanging in there can be hard.

How does a disabled man go to church? He can't, there's no ramp.

Did you know an orphan is deeply religious because they can finally call someone "father."

I can swallow two pieces of string and when they come out the other end, they'll be tied together. I shit you knot.

Why do horny, deaf girls wear tight pants?

So you can read her lips.

What is a thing orphans have that we can never have?

Imaginary parents.

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Thank you, -Connor

Looking out for becoming a pilot, can y'all suggest some good mosques?

Don't want to learn the landing part, though, Allah said it's unnecessary.

What's the same about a newborn and a football?

You can kick them both very easily.

I have a better method of abortion than currently used. It's like a regular one, except you can get free food out of it... We're about to give baby-back ribs a whole new meaning.

Jeffrey Dahmer and his mother are having dinner.

His mother says, “I don’t like your friends.”

Then Jeff says, “You can eat the potatoes.”

What do orphans and police not have in common?

The police can actually go home.

What is fully grown but can fit through small objects? Michael Jackson.

Why is Homelander an orphan's favorite superhero?

Because they can actually land a home.

Yo forehead so big, an airplane can use that as a runway!

She said you can twerk, so I put her in a tractor and put her to work. She got mad at me and said, "There's no good men," but I gave her a kob and equal pay!

Your forehead is so big you can smoke a cigar in the rain.