Can jokes

Did you know an orphan is deeply religious because they can finally call someone "father."

I can swallow two pieces of string and when they come out the other end, they'll be tied together. I shit you knot.

Why do horny, deaf girls wear tight pants?

So you can read her lips.

What is a thing orphans have that we can never have?

Imaginary parents.

I am whooping my doge's a$$. If you like, you can free him.

Hey dude, can you spell IHOP?

Sure, man. I. H. O. P.

Wait, you ate my pee!!!

If her age is on the clock, she can sit on my cock.

Jeffrey Dahmer and his mother are having dinner.

His mother says, “I don’t like your friends.”

Then Jeff says, “You can eat the potatoes.”

I'm lookin' for some good jokes for the best song award. Can y'all help a fellow out?

Why can't orphans play baseball?

They can't find home. 😀😀

Husband: Hey honey, words can’t describe how beautiful you are.

Wife: Aww, thanks.

Husband: But numbers can. 0 out of 10.

What's something a depressed person can do that a regular person can't?

The depressed person can scan themself.

Your forehead is so big you can smoke a cigar in the rain.

Yo, sis, come here.

Sis: What?

Me: Oh, sorry, you doing school?

Sis: Yup.

Me: Can I go?

Sis: No way, you're going to hug me.

Me: I love you.

Employer: Can you perform under pressure?

Me: No, but I do a pretty good "Bohemian Rhapsody."

What is a good time for dinner, and what do I do? You can do dinner. Was that it?

What do people that can only use half their face and wankers have in common?

They have both had a few strokes.

Your forehead is so big, you can fit Santa’s sack on it.

She said you can twerk, so I put her in a tractor and put her to work. She got mad at me and said, "There's no good men," but I gave her a kob and equal pay!

Your mom is heavier than Mariah can even carry.