Can jokes
Your mom is heavier than Mariah can even carry.
"Honey, let's not go so deep into the woods, please. I'm starting to get scared."
"It's easy for you to talk. I can go back alone right now!"
I have a better method of abortion than currently used. It's like a regular one, except you can get free food out of it... We're about to give baby-back ribs a whole new meaning.
What is fully grown but can fit through small objects? Michael Jackson.
lmao why do people think they can fly?
Memes
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Thank you, -Connor
What do orphans and police not have in common?
The police can actually go home.
Looking out for becoming a pilot, can y'all suggest some good mosques?
Don't want to learn the landing part, though, Allah said it's unnecessary.
9 year olds can consent. Thatβs like 18 divided by 2.
What store can an orphan never find?
Home Depot.
Whatβs something you can say during a pregnancy test and during a sporting event?
"Weβve got a runner!"
Why do sumo wrestlers shave their legs?
So you can tell them apart from the feminists.
Doctor: "I am so sorry, I cannot see you today."
Orphan: "Oh, okay. What about tomorrow?"
Doctor: "No, I can't see you ever."
Orphan: "Why?"
Doctor: "Because I am a family doctor."
Why can Elsa hold a balloon? She will "Let It Go"!
Why is a ghost so predictable?
Because you can see right through it.
Instead of the line, "This girl's on fire," my friend can relate to, "The baby in the oven's on fire, and I need to take it the f*ck out!"
Why is it so hard to make friends in Antarctica?
Because you cannot break the ice.
What's the difference between Batman and a Black man???
Batman can go out at night without Robin.
Whatβs the difference between my ex and a unicycle?
A unicycle can only take one person at a time.
Na, don't be mean to fat people. Oh wait, never mind, they can handle the weight.