Can jokes
Why do more men than women support abortion? So they can keep raping women and the victims will just abort their kids to not have to relive the experience!
What does an autistic kid and a porn video have in common? You can shoot both of them, just not in public.
A guy and girl had a sex poem competition.
Guy: "Two times two is four, four plus five is nine. I can put mine in yours, but you can't put yours in mine."
Girl: "Two times two is four, four plus five is nine. I know the length of yours, but you won't know the depth of mine."
Why is a ghost so predictable?
Because you can see right through it.
"Honey, let's not go so deep into the woods, please. I'm starting to get scared."
"It's easy for you to talk. I can go back alone right now!"
Why are 9/11 victims so good at reading?
Because they can go through 100 stories in 5 minutes.
What is the difference between a terrorist and a prostitute?
The prostitute can blow you more than once.
Why don’t I shut myself all the time?
I can only fit so many pairs of kids in my mouth and stomach at the same time.
African Kid: "Mom, can we have water?"
Mom: "Sure, it's in the house."
African Kid: *Goes to the fridge and opens the door searching for cold water*
The fridge: ERROR 404 Water Not Found
Teacher: Where is your slip so I can see you can come on this trip?
Orphan: Parent signature: ___________
Why do sumo wrestlers shave their legs?
So you can tell them apart from the feminists.
I called the suicide hotline in Iraq. The person got excited and asked if I can drive a truck.
You know chords, right? Well, you know what I love to do? To play with A-minor. You know, feel your fingers on A-minor. Gives you a sense of power, to just F A-minor.
But that's not my favorite thing to fiddle with. That would be the D of minors. It's just solid, you know. If you're clever you can have the D of minors into the C of minors. Or, though a bit tricky, the D of minors into the B of minors.
And at this point you've gotten the point and if I want to continue it would be a bit of a stretch.
I don't have any friends.
If you like this, I can be your friend :)
What is the worst thing your sibling can steal from you?
Your virginity.
Why can orphans get away with being bad at school? Because when the teacher says, "I want to have a parent/teacher conference," they just go about their day.
This Fairy Tail shirt is only $9.99! Guess you can say that's a fair retail.
A man walks over to a little boy and asks, "Wanna see my tattoo of a bunny?"
The little boy replies with, "Yes please, I love bunnies!"
The man proceeds to pull his pants down and said, "Can you see it yet?"
The little boy curious says, "No, where is it?"
The man says, "Dig a little deeper, he runs into the hole when he gets scared!"
When you have to get your prostate checked and you can feel the cold rubber of the glove, but you realize both the doctor's hands are on your shoulders.
You can pick your friends and you can pick your 🤥 nose, but you can't pick your friends' noses 👃 👃 👃 👃 👃 👃 👃.
Does it 🚲 🚲 🚲 cycle now?