Can jokes

Jeffrey Dahmer and his mother are having dinner.

His mother says, “I don’t like your friends.”

Then Jeff says, “You can eat the potatoes.”

What do orphans and police not have in common?

The police can actually go home.

What is fully grown but can fit through small objects? Michael Jackson.

Why is Homelander an orphan's favorite superhero?

Because they can actually land a home.

Yo forehead so big, an airplane can use that as a runway!

She said you can twerk, so I put her in a tractor and put her to work. She got mad at me and said, "There's no good men," but I gave her a kob and equal pay!

Your forehead is so big you can smoke a cigar in the rain.

Q: Why can't orphans ever win at Yahtzee?

A: Because they can never seem to get a full house.

Did you hear about the dwarf that had his wallet stolen? Just how low can you get?

Q: Why can you be rude to an orphan?

A: Because who are they gonna tell their parents?

I will never forget my grandfather's last words:

"Can you hold the ladder correctly, damn it!"

Husband: Hey honey, words can’t describe how beautiful you are.

Wife: Aww, thanks.

Husband: But numbers can. 0 out of 10.

Why can't orphans play baseball?

They can't find home. 😀😀

I'm lookin' for some good jokes for the best song award. Can y'all help a fellow out?

What is a good time for dinner, and what do I do? You can do dinner. Was that it?

Employer: Can you perform under pressure?

Me: No, but I do a pretty good "Bohemian Rhapsody."

Yo, sis, come here.

Sis: What?

Me: Oh, sorry, you doing school?

Sis: Yup.

Me: Can I go?

Sis: No way, you're going to hug me.

Me: I love you.

Doctor: "I am so sorry, I cannot see you today."

Orphan: "Oh, okay. What about tomorrow?"

Doctor: "No, I can't see you ever."

Orphan: "Why?"

Doctor: "Because I am a family doctor."

Two terrorists walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "What can I get you?"

The terrorists both say, "A beer."

The bartender overhears them talking about how they will kill 300 people and a donkey. The bartender says, "Why a donkey?"

One terrorist says, "See, I told you no one would care about the people!"

An American and a Russian are talking. The American says, "We in America have the best democracy. We can stand in front of the White House and shout with impunity: \"The American President is a moron!\""

"We can do that too," says the Russian, walking with the American to the Kremlin and shouting: "The American President is a moron!"