Can jokes
She said you can twerk, so I put her in a tractor and put her to work. She got mad at me and said, "There's no good men," but I gave her a kob and equal pay!
Q: Why can't orphans ever win at Yahtzee?
A: Because they can never seem to get a full house.
Did you hear about the dwarf that had his wallet stolen? Just how low can you get?
Q: Why can you be rude to an orphan?
A: Because who are they gonna tell their parents?
Your forehead is so big, you can fit Santa’s sack on it.
What's the same about a newborn and a football?
You can kick them both very easily.
The guy in the wheelchair at my gym can do so many pull-ups with the wheelchair on, but I said to him, "Don't skip leg day."
Autoerotic asphyxiation because hanging in there can be hard.
Yo forehead so big, an airplane can use that as a runway!
I will never forget my grandfather's last words:
"Can you hold the ladder correctly, damn it!"
Why is Homelander an orphan's favorite superhero?
Because they can actually land a home.
What's something a depressed person can do that a regular person can't?
The depressed person can scan themself.
Your forehead is so big you can smoke a cigar in the rain.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They can't find home. 😀😀
Husband: Hey honey, words can’t describe how beautiful you are.
Wife: Aww, thanks.
Husband: But numbers can. 0 out of 10.
I'm lookin' for some good jokes for the best song award. Can y'all help a fellow out?
Yo, sis, come here.
Sis: What?
Me: Oh, sorry, you doing school?
Sis: Yup.
Me: Can I go?
Sis: No way, you're going to hug me.
Me: I love you.
What do people that can only use half their face and wankers have in common?
They have both had a few strokes.
What is a good time for dinner, and what do I do? You can do dinner. Was that it?
Employer: Can you perform under pressure?
Me: No, but I do a pretty good "Bohemian Rhapsody."