Can

Can jokes

Bill Cosby

    • 7 little children gathered around the bed Bill Cosby's fantasy.

    All he wants to do is tickle the kids, it's as plain as can be.

    7 cellmates gathered around the bed ready to rape Bill Cosby instead.

  • 7

    • Coma

    • A man wakes from a coma. His wife changes out of her black clothes and, irritated, remarks, “I really cannot depend on you in anything, can I!”

  • 1

    • Asylum

    • There were these two guys in a lunatic asylum... and one night, they decide they don't like living in an asylum anymore. They decide they're going to escape!

    So, like, they get up onto the roof, and there, just across this narrow gap, they see the rooftops of the town, stretching away in the moonlight... stretching away to freedom. Now, the first guy, he jumps right across with no problem. But his friend, his friend didn't dare make the leap. You see... You see, he's afraid of falling.

    So then, the first guy has an idea... He says "Hey! I have my flashlight with me! I'll shine it across the gap between the buildings. You can walk along the beam and join me!" B-but the second guy just shakes his head. He suh-says... He says "Wh-what do you think I am? Crazy? You'd turn it off when I was half way across!"

  • 1
    • Can memes

    Penis

    • The woman's body is shaped like a penis. If see a naked female body bent over, her butt looks like testicles, while her head can be seen as the head of a penis.

    This is the same if she lies down right side up with her knees up and legs spread. If she lays upside down with her knees up and legs spread, her boobs are like testicles and her pelvic area is like the head of a penis. If you look at the shape of a vagina, it’s shaped like a penis with the lips looking like testicles and the clit looks like the schlong.

  • 5

    • Initial

    • What do the initials NOW stand for?

    (A.) National Organization For Women

    (B.) National Organization of Whores

    (C.) All the above

    Answer:

    Since the initials NOW can stand for anything, the correct answer is all the above.

  • 1

    • Banana

    • Broccoli says, "I look like a tree."

    Walnut says, "I look like a brain."

    Cashew says, "I look like a kidney."

    Banana says, "Can we change the topic please?"

  • 0

    • Priest

    • A priest asks the convicted murderer at the electric chair, "Do you have any last requests?" "Yes," replies the murderer, "Can you please hold my hand?"

  • 2

    • Mexican

    • A police pulls over a Mexican man trying to get into America. The Mexican man comes up with some sob story and the police say, "All right, all right ok," says the police, "I'll let you go if you can come up with a sentence that has the words green, pink, and yellow in it." The Mexican thought about it long and hard for almost 45 minutes and then the police says, "Ok ok let's hear it" after waiting impatiently. The Mexican said, "Ok ok don't rush me. I'm ready." The Mexican replied, "Ok when my phone green green, I pink it up and say Yellow!"

  • 1

    • Time

    • You: Find a time clock that can change time.

    Your friend the next day: Hey, can I borrow yo' house?

    You: No, I'm trying to figure out what to do with my TIME!

    Also you: Changes the time back to 1267 so you don't have to have that friend again.

    Homework

    • Teacher said, "You never do your homework," so I shot her 7 times with a M1 BushDid911 and replied, "It's all in my backpack, can you grade it please?"