Can I branch out to some tree puns. Willow you allow me it’s only fur. No? Oakome on
Broccoli says" I look like a tree" Walnut says "I look like a brain", Cashew says "I look like a kidney", Banana says "can we change the topic please? "
your forehead to big I can see my future when it shines
What’s pink, black and has 17 nipples?
A trash can behind the cancer ward
Ring ring Abortion clinic! Where no fetus can beat us
Who do you want on your basketball team in heaven?
Peter. He can deny Jesus three times.
A Mexican boy said, "I can't do this." Then a guy says, "You can do it, we are Mexican not Mexicant."
Can all the hot depressed, suicidal, guys just text me so we can meet up and cry together about how depressed we r. For real
some people can juggle chain saws Chuck Norris can juggle people juggling china saws
How can you get free butt plants just get your man to fill your butt with Natural juices
Therapist: So how depressed would you say you’ve been feeling lately?
Me: I don’t care anymore if my foot hangs over the bed where a monster can get it
Therapist [whispering]: Jesus, wow
my therapist says with time all wounds can heal so I stabbed him now we wait
A man is driving down the road and runs over a rabbit, he slams on his brakes, gets out and walks up to the flattened bunny. The bunny is obviously expired. A passing car slams on it’s brakes and screeches to a halt. The driver of that car runs up to the bunny pulls out an aerosol can and sprays the bunny with the aerosol spray. The Bunny jumps up runs a few feet, then stops, turns around and waves it’s paw at the two men. Runs away a few more feet, stops, turns around and waves at the two men. Runs away a few more feet, stops, turns around and waves at the two men. He continues to do this until he’s out of sight. The first driver looks at the man with the aerosol can and says “Wow that is amazing, what is in that can” the man looks at the can and reads the label “Hair restorer, with a permanent wave”.
Boy: Hey mom can we have ice cream. Orphan: What's a mom?
Papyrus ran headfast into a windmill. Guess you can call him a bone head
Science can fly you to the moon, but religion flies you into skyscrapers.
son: can i go to my friends mum? mum: no! son: dad was right i am a son of a bitch! mum: bad news but your adopted!!
ho can drink 20 litres of fuel without dying jerrycan
Why do nuns walk in groups?. So one “ nun” can keep an eye on the other “ nun” just to make sure that she isn’t getting “ nun”.