Why crack your fingers when you can finger your crack?
What kind of tree can you High-Five? A Palm tree.
Person 1: somebody farted. Person 2: no, all I can smell is your breath
Kenny Tyler, you're lucky you're adopted. Tyler: Why? Kenny: Because you can fuck your mom without getting arrested for incest.
Johnny Johnny? Yes pa pa Eating Sugar? Yes pa pa, I am eating sugar because it is the only thing i can reach and you have refused to feed me for the past 3 days. You smoke 2 packs of cigs a day and you’re mad at me for eating a little sugar. Smoking? Telling lies? Yes pa pa, you do all of those things because you’re a chronic addict.
dear doctor
ive heard its a good sign when women scream your first name during sex but recently women have been screaming my full name. its weird, i feel like im famous. Can you tell me what this means?
Yours Truly Ray Palp
Scratches on an icy road and kills or 50 people on the bus and when they get to heaven God feel so bad for them and grants them all one wish the first lady in the line was always worried about her looks so she wish to be beautiful and the guy behind her couldn’t think of what to want to wish about so he also wish to be beautiful but this keep on going but the guy at the end of the line started to laugh when he got to God he said God says what’s what is your one wish my son I wish you can make them all ugly again
why does the orphan like nature, he can call someone mother
The woman body is shaped like a penis. If see a naked female body bent over, her butt looks like testicles while her head can be seen as the head of a penis. This is the same if she lies down right side up with her knees up and legs spread. If she lays upside down with her knees up and legs spread, her boobs are like testicles and her pelvic area is like the head of a penis. If you look at the shape of a vagina, it’s shaped like a penis with the lips looking like testicles and the clit look like the schlong.
Why does Helen Keller hate the national anthem? Oh, say, can you see?
What does Michael Jackson and tuna fish have in common? They both come in small can
Micheal Jackson's nose is so steep it can be a ski ramp
A guy walks into a bar. He goes up to the bartender and says: If i can suprise you, i get a free drink. The bartender was unsure but agreed. The guy pulled up a 30cm long pianist out of his pocket and he starts to play The bartender was suprised and gave the guy a free drink The guy then sais: You see, i have a little wizard in my pocket that grants wishes, can i get another free drink if you get a free wish? The bartender agrees without hesitation The bartender wishes for a 1000 bucks, but he gets a 1000 ducks WTF! the man shouts. The guy answered: Did you think i wanted a 30cm long pianist
Friend #1: "What's your favourite thing about trees?"
Friend #2: "Apples"
Me: "I can hang myself in them."
What do a jack-o-lantern and an emo have in common? They can both carve a new emotion.
people say that they can read people's faces;then how come nobody sees me breaking inside?
All I can see when I pass Saturn is Uranus because, it's so big.
Why can I toilet paper cross the road because the toilet paper got stuck in a crack🤣🤣🤣
Why can the orphan only go to restaurants?
Because they can't have homemade meals.
Terorist: we can go over it, we can’t go under it, let’s go through it.
