Can jokes

A few men have curved penises, but they can fix that problem by straightening it out.

I like porn a lot. I was wondering if you guys can talk to me.

Customer: "Can I get this in a smaller size and a different color?"

Employee: "Ma'am, this is an adoption agency, you can't do that here!"

What did the plane say to the tower? "Yo, can I crash at your place for a bit, and can my boy crash at your boy's place?"

Can you imagine what was the last thing that went through their brains?

The knee caps.

I downloaded Fruit Ninja so I can cut fruit instead of myself.

Raaj went up to his mom and said, "I bet you 10 dollars I can disappear." Then he turned off the lights.

Can disabled enable dark mode?

Why do Swedish warships have barcodes on them?

So that when they return to port, they can Scandinavian.

Why can Asian people buy phones?

'Cause they might call the wrong number.

What's blue and bad for your teeth?

A green brick that's painted blue after the original paint dries (it takes a little while to dry), but after it dries you can paint it and then it will be green. If the brick is green it is called a green brick as it is green (not blue anymore) and it hurts your teeth because brick is a hard material that can damage the bones in your mouth (also known as your teeth).

All rape can be prevented. It's just a matter of semantics.

You can sink the Titanic like you can drive a bike. Not a joke.

Hello. What can I get you? A knife, mustard, Marella, gorilla?

A penguin and a polar bear are sitting in a bathtub. The penguin asks the polar bear, "Hey, can you pass the soap?" The polar bear obliges.

A few moments later, the penguin asks, "Hey, can you pass the scrubber?" The polar bear does. Shortly after that, the penguin says, "Hey, can you pass the rubber ducky?"

The polar bear, beginning to become upset, turns to the penguin and says, "What do you think I am? A radio?!"

I'm going to start taking confetti with me to therapy so when my therapist asks me, "How are you?" I can say "sad" and toss the confetti everywhere. It'll be like a real-life iMessage!

After standing in line staring at McDonald's menu for 17 minutes,

Me: "Okay, I'm ready. Can you help me not be sad all the time?"

Whoever has my voodoo doll, can you just finish me off already?

OnlyFans, but it’s me smacking your baby daddies with Twisted Tea.

Only Cans.

Can we stop talking about 9/11? My dad died, man, but he was a good pilot.