You can drink drinks but you can't food foods" -Sun Tzu, The art of food
Why do Mexicans wear pointed boots so they can climb a fence easier
9 year olds can consent. That’s like 18 divided by 2.
How do you make a Trash Can leak? HIT IT WITH AN AXE UNTIL IT BECOMES PART OF THE COSMOS
The daughter walks up to her father and he asks him “Dad can I ask you something?” The father says “Of course, what’s your question?” The daughter replies and asks “How do you feel about abortion?” The father says “Why don’t you ask your sister?” The daughter replies “I don’t have a sis-“
What does an autistic kid and a porn video have in common? You can shoot both of them, just not in public.
What’s the difference between a prostitute and a homeless shelter? You can shit a load inside of a prostitute but if you try it in a shelter you get arrested.
How can Canada be one of the most educated countries, when Canadians are unable to correctly spell analyse, programme, and aluminium?
you can tele if a woman is angery if she is holding a gun.
Waitress: What can I get for you?
Me: I'll have a steak.
Waitress: How would you like it?
Me: Immediately!
if being sexy was a crime you can call me ......... a law abiding citizen
Roses are red violets are fine you can be the sic and I can be the nine
Knock Knock. Who's there? It's the police... who? It's the police, let me in so I can get some donuts!
What is the worst thing you can find out about a woman on a first date?
She claims to have been raped. Then, you know to get as far away from her as possible because she's probably a feminazi bitch.
YDou're mama so stupid she stayed up all night so she can get some sleep
Me: can I have your chair 💺 You: Why Me : for charity
Opposite day be like in doors
Figure : finally I can see
Eyes: Nnnnnoooo I'm blind. Figure I'm sorry i made fun if u all those other times pls don't make fu. Of me
Figure: ok eye promise eye won't.
Eyes: 😭
Question; What is the BIG ADVANTAGE to going out on a date with a "Homeless Chic"? Answer; After the date, you can "Drop Her Off" ANYWHERE!
What excuse can you use if you find out your date is a rape victim and you don't want the baggage?
Say you've parked your car in a bad spot, and are just going move it, then move your car all the way back to your home address
there are perks to bringing a emo to the grocery store you can get coupons by scanning their wrist
