Can Jokes

One day a guy named Carson is called a jerk, and he says, "I went to a party with my girlfriend, and this random guy walks up to us and says, 'Can I borrow your girlfriend for 30 minutes?' I say yes, and he takes her upstairs. It was not only 30 minutes, but an hour. When she came back down, she was out of breath, so I knew it was a pretty intense conversation." This happens about 3 more times that night.

But as I was saying, only a nice guy would let his girlfriend make friends with other guys. 😊😇

The son margarine shows his father his test that he failed.

Father: Son, you can do butter!

Guy 1: "Tell me a bad pun."

Guy 2: "Alright. What's the difference between a tuna fish, a piano, and a tube of glue?"

Guy 1: "Ok, that last one was random as heck. What is the difference?"

Guy 2: "You can tuna a piano, but you can't piano a tuna."

Guy 1: "Ok, where does the glue come in?"

Guy 2: "Ah, I knew you'd get stuck on that."

2019, where you can change your gender at a snap of a finger.

I'm supposed to put a joke here.

But I can't find a mirror...can you find one yourself?

I'm sure you'll laugh.

How can you help a llama on holiday?

Alpaca your bags.

A little girl and a little boy are taking a bath together when the little girl looks down and asks, "What's that?" The little boy says, "That's my little red race car." 10 minutes later, the boy looks down and asks, "What's that?" The little girl says, "That's my little red race car garage."

So later that night the boy asks the little girl if he can put his little red race car in her little red race car garage. She says yes, and they pull down their pants and the boy tries putting his little red race car in her garage, but it won't fit. Downstairs, the mother hears an ear-piercing scream and runs upstairs, flips on the lights, and sees blood on the floor. The mother asks, "What happened?" The little girl says, "We tried putting his car in my garage and it wouldn't fit, so I cut the back wheels off."

Highest level of insult by a girl by seeing a guy's dick:

"I can shit bigger logs than that thing of your's" 🤣

Do you know a way to really freak out someone that works at a car dealership?

You say, "Tell me if you can hear me," then get in the trunk and start screaming.

What's the difference between a bird and jam? You can ham your cock in a bird but you can't bird your cock in a jam

How can you make a orphans hand bleed?

Real them to clap until there parent come home.

Why is there bullying? They can handle it by themselves.

My girlfriend told me she was leaving me because I keep pretending to be a Transformer. I said, "No, wait! I can change."

I'll stop with the horrible puns if you can say a good joke.

Chuck Norris can gargle peanut butter.

My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children.

If anybody does, please just send me your contact details, and we can drop them off tomorrow.

In the average room, there are about 2,894,638 items that Chuck Norris can use to kill you, including the room itself.

What's the difference between a blonde and a bowling ball?

I can only fit three fingers inside the bowling ball.

Roses are red, shit is brown, Get that dick out my ass so we can go to town.

A doctor tells a woman she can no longer touch anything alcoholic. So, she gets a divorce.