Can jokes
Can you fuck me, please?
I needed to take a phone call, so I went to the nearest exit. I guess you can say it was very exciting! 😂
I named my dog "5 miles" so when I walk him, I can say I walked 5 miles.
Random guy: I ran over 5 miles.
Did you hear about the song Rihanna wrote about the tin can?
It was called "S & N."
Jack and Jill ran up the hill to pop some pills,
And Jill said, "Jack can do her without here will," and Jack's penis was still.
Q: Get up for a chair joke!
A: Oh, never mind, you can sit down.
Hitler walked so Kim can run.
Jesus walked, so Mohammad can fly.
Q: How do you know when an Asian broke into your house?
A: You can't find your dog.
Here are some skeleton jokes.
You know the average person tries too hard and works himself to the bone.
If that joke didn't tickle your funny bone, I can give you a real humorous joke.
I used to play the trumpet, now I play the xylo-bone.
I'm always happy; nothing gets under my skin.
I made you some turkey for lunch. Bone appetit!
I'm glad I had you; I'm no longer bonely.
I've got a skele-ton of more jokes, but I'm just giving you one more.
Did you hear about the skeleton ninja? He was very skullful (skillful)!
What's worse than five dead babies in one garbage can?
- One dead baby in five garbage cans.
Don't go to ghostposter.com. The person or persons who run that site are a fucking bunch if dumb fucking cunts who can suck my big cock.
To the man in the wheelchair who stole my camouflage jacket, "You can hide but you can't run."
Doctor, can I please have a new butt? My old one has a hole and a crack in it.
What can a rock possibly say?
Answer: I'll fuck ya mum rock hard.
A man walks over to a little boy and asks, "Wanna see my tattoo of a bunny?"
The little boy replies with, "Yes please, I love bunnies!"
The man proceeds to pull his pants down and said, "Can you see it yet?"
The little boy curious says, "No, where is it?"
The man says, "Dig a little deeper, he runs into the hole when he gets scared!"
How can you tell if a Polish woman is on the rag? One of her socks is missing!
What danger does this put them in? Toxic Sock Syndrome!
El, can you grab me that bow?
White people: *come to America, meet natives and take food, kill them, rape them, and enslave them.*
Natives: Can y-
White people: Hey, you remember all that horrible sh*t we did to you? Let's have a good laugh about it over dinner with your buddies and my new wives.
Never drink tea in school... I give people tea if they've passed out... tea can be nice, but only have it once a day... It's not what you think... It's not tea, it's CPR.