Can jokes
Teacher: Johnny, can you use a sentence with "definitely" in it?
Little Johnny: Do farts have lumps in them?
Teacher: Of course not, Johnny.
Little Johnny: Then I’ve definitely shat myself.
A cemetery should be built next to orphanages, so the orphans can see their parents.
A burger walks into a bar and says, "Hi sir, can I have a glass of water?"
And the waiter says, "I'm sorry sir, we don't serve food here."
Why can I be black? Because I look like I have puberty, and I sound like I had puberty.
Hi, people. I really need a friend. Can someone please be my friend? Say in comments if you will.
My friend asked me if bees can fly in the rain. I replied, "Not without their yellow jackets!"
If you're reading this, then good, let's stop this hating on this site! We can just get along, or if not, then don't say anything at all! "Kiss."
Me: Mrs., can I read my book?
Teacher: Sure.
Me: *watching my Chromebook*
Do you think I can shoot a basketball?
I make it dip like water.
There are three types of people in the world:
Those who can count and those who can’t.
Hi, I'm Madison, but for short you can call me Alex.
I donated to the LGBTQ community. Hopefully now they can find a cure.
I called the suicide hotline in Iraq. The person got excited and asked if I can drive a truck.
🥫Wewo wewo, stop right now or we will be forced to stop your self.
No, not like you can ketchup!
Okay, I'm so sorry, Alya, and Drew. I didn't mean to say that you guys were stupid and cringy. I mistyped. Can you guys forgive me by any chance? I'm so sorry :(
What's something a depressed person can do that a regular person can't?
The depressed person can scan themself.
Can you make me a bowl of cereal? Oh wait, your dad never came back with the milk.
As an American, I like cars. And like all car enthusiasts, even just a little scratch can ruin a brand new car.
So why is it that we go to different countries like India and see that almost every car is completely totaled? I guess we have different meanings of "it's just a scratch."
You know somebody has a fat ass when someone is standing between you and them, and all you can focus on is that trunk.
😳 😳 😳 what can a physically handicapped ♿ 👬 👨 👨 gay man can do better than a physically handicapped ♿ bisexual man 👨 👩 👨 🤔 when his 👄 mouth is wide open 😍 when his head is sticking out under the stall inside the men's 🚹 restroom 🚻 at a rest 😴 area 😴 suck the chrome of a tall pipe 👄