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A fully grown bull Great White Shark is 15 feet long and can open its jaws up to 1.2 meters long. It could eat a small child in seconds. Anyways, I lost my job at the aquarium...

Teacher makes 1 kid recite the ABCs and the other count to 10.

Teacher: You can kill 2 birds with 1 stone.

Little Johnny goes home and throws a rock at two birds. One dies. He gives his dad a concussion from the rock hitting his head.

Johnny at school: You can kill a bird and give a man a concussion.

Everyone give this joke a thumb's down and see if it can become the worst rated joke on the site.

When you ask your friend, "Can I hear a joke?"

"Sure."

"What do orphans and orange peels have the same?"

"What?"

"They both get thrown out."

Want to hear an abortion joke, or any joke for that matter? You have that option, and you can thank your mother for that.

But that's a question that will never be heard by an aborted unborn baby, whose only option was death. And that's no joke.

As an honest Penaldo fan, I have to admit he is a penalty merchant. He can only score against farmer teams like Spezia. He never shows up against great teams like Barcelona.

I've come to realize my hero Penaldo will never be better than Messi. My idol Penaldo is sadly finished.

Why can orphans get away from the FBI?

Because they don't have a house.

One day a rooster fell into a swimming pool and a cat laughed. And the moral of the story? A wet cock can always satisfy a pussy.

Cemeteries should be built next to orphanages, so the orphans can see their parents.

Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jack can eat her candy. He got sick when he got a mouthful of dick and realized her name was Randy.

A guy starts texting a cute girl and asks her to give him her phone number so he can call her. The girl says, "OK, but you have to transfer mobile balance to my number. Then I am gonna be your girlfriend and will meet you somewhere." He transfers her the balance and calls her, but it turns out the girl was actually a guy making him a fool. He blocked him.

The next day, he was very angry about himself being a fool, so he thought he'd do the same. He makes a fake girl account and starts texting with some random guy, and then he asks that guy to send him balance. Suddenly, his father came into his bedroom and asked, "Son, can you send me some balance? I am gonna send you cash after sometime." That guy looks at his father with suspicious eyes, and then he calls that random number. Suddenly his father's phone starts ringing......

Me: Can I borrow your CD?

Friend: What CD?

Me: See deez nuts in your mouth.