Hi, I'm Madison, but for short you can call me Alex.
Can Jokes
I donated to the LGBTQ community. Hopefully now they can find a cure.
I called the suicide hotline in Iraq. The person got excited and asked if I can drive a truck.
🥫Wewo wewo, stop right now or we will be forced to stop your self.
No, not like you can ketchup!
Okay, I'm so sorry, Alya, and Drew. I didn't mean to say that you guys were stupid and cringy. I mistyped. Can you guys forgive me by any chance? I'm so sorry :(
What's something a depressed person can do that a regular person can't?
The depressed person can scan themself.
Can you make me a bowl of cereal? Oh wait, your dad never came back with the milk.
As an American, I like cars. And like all car enthusiasts, even just a little scratch can ruin a brand new car.
So why is it that we go to different countries like India and see that almost every car is completely totaled? I guess we have different meanings of "it's just a scratch."
You know somebody has a fat ass when someone is standing between you and them, and all you can focus on is that trunk.
😳 😳 😳 what can a physically handicapped ♿ 👬 👨 👨 gay man can do better than a physically handicapped ♿ bisexual man 👨 👩 👨 🤔 when his 👄 mouth is wide open 😍 when his head is sticking out under the stall inside the men's 🚹 restroom 🚻 at a rest 😴 area 😴 suck the chrome of a tall pipe 👄
🤔 What do gay men who are physically handicapped ♿ can do better than a man who is heteroflexible when 🤔 he has another man's 😍 😋 😜 😏 😳 😉 cock inside 😋 of his warm mouth 👄 👄 give a 👍 👍 good blowjob?
The worst thing about an owl is how they can maintain eye contact when you put them in a microwave.
What is one thing that a physicality handicapped gay man can do better than a heterosexual female or a bisexual female that are not born physicality handicapped? Know how to perform fellatio on a man that has a very long and thick and very large dick.
What is it that a 🤔 😳 👀 😕 physicality handicapped ♿ male prostitute can do on his own very well without getting any help from his male friends that are gay like himself?
Perform fellatio on a 👨 👨 👬 gay man.
I was anonymous with the previous jokes. I will now go by "I can fly! *falls*."
What's black and white and red all over? A mime I hit with my car.
What do dead babies and fruit have in common? Both can become smoothies with the help of a blender!
How can you make an Otter Pop become funny?
Take your shotgun and make an otter go "pop!"
Three men were going for a drive through the desert. An hour later, the car breaks down. They all take something from the car to keep themselves cool as they walk to the nearest gas station a few miles back.
One guy grabs a hand-held fan. Another guy grabs the jug of water. The last guy takes the car door off. About 15 minutes into walking, the other two are giving the one guy weird looks. Finally, one of them asks why he is taking the car door. The third guy just replies that whenever he gets hot he can just roll down the window.
A man is in purgatory. He says he suddenly was shocked by something, so he died.
The guard at purgatory says: "I can give you one more chance to live!"
He revives the man. The man gets up, but something doesn't feel right... He looks in the mirror to see what's wrong. He closes his eyes and hears something.
Guard: "Welcome back! You found the problem!"
What's the worst thing you can say to a widow?
"I'm sorry, I just had to."
