Came Back Jokes

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

I told my dad to get me a packet of cigarettes, he never came back. ANDI still didn't get my FUCKING CIGARETTES.

Sheila, the Aussie housewife, got out of the shower and slipped on the bathroom floor. Instead of falling over forwards or backwards, she did the splits and suctioned cupped herself to the floor. She yelled out for her husband, "Bruce! Bruce!" and he came running in. "Bruce, I’ve bloody suctioned myself to the floor" she said. "S’truth, Sheila!" Bruce said, and tried to pull her up. "You’re stuck fast girl. I’ll go across the road and get me mate Cobber." They came back and they both tried to pull her up from the floor. "No way, we can’t do it!" Cobber said, "So let’s try Plan B" "Plan B?" exclaimed Bruce, "What’s that?" "I’ll go home and get me hammer and chisel and we’ll break the tiles under her" replied Cobber. "Spot on" Bruce said, "While you’re doing that, I’ll stay here and play with her nipples" "Play with her nipples?" Cobber said, "Not exactly a good time for that mate" "No... " Bruce replied, "But I reckon if I can get her wet enough, we can slide her into the kitchen where the tiles are a lot cheaper"

My parents came back from their vacation in Florida and all I got is this lousy nursemaid from Miami named mammie

What's a orfons favourite toy

A boomerang because it came back unlike there peronts

So I was playing on my phone and my mom said to go and take the trash out so I pick up my sister and threw her in the garbage bin and said”mom told me to” and when I came back in my mom said not to do that every again but then I told her that she says not to lie so I was doing the right thing👍

The kids dad was a magician because he disappeared and never came back

I was walking in a park today and a little girl I asked where’s your parents she said gone my dad when to go get the milk and never came back and I said oof

My boyfriend dumped me guess who came back crawling for his zimmer frame.....

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

Why do orphans like boomerangs because they actually came back ....

I told a crying kid to wipe his tears and come back smiling. He never came back the next day, says the local news.

What’s an orphan’s least favourite drink?

Milk. Because no one came back with any.

The reason your dad never came back with the milk Is cause he ran 88 mph downhill

My friend asked me why I haven’t had milk in six years

I told him my dad never came back with it

Did your dad ever tell you he was going to get milk.... But then never came back lol😅

3 guys landed on a cannibal island. the Cannibal chef told them if you want to live to go get 10 of one fruit and bring it to me and I will tell you what to do. so the first guy brings 10 apples and the chef said if you can shove all 10 of those in your ass without making a sound you can live. He was 3 apples in made a sound and they ate him. the second guy brought grapes. 9 grapes in and burs ted out laughing. The Cannibals ate him. then the first guy said why you laugh you were almost there. the other guy who had the grapes said I couldn't help it I was told the third guy came back with 10 pineapples.

A man and a cow walk into a McDonalds, and the man walks up to the front counter and says “I’d like one beef burger.” The employee of McDonalds said “Sure thing sir, also I really like to see your cow, may I bring him into the back room really quick to show my co-workers?” The man says “Sure.” The employee takes the cow into the back room. A couple minutes later the employee came back with his burger. The man took a bite of it, and released his cow was gone.