Came Back Jokes

So I was sitting at a bar right, That fucking waitress came again, and guess what? She brought the wrong drinks again. So I send her away to get the correct drinks. And she came back again, with the wrong drinks!! Obviously, she was retarded. Anyways that's the story about how I met your mother.

I said to my wife that she's that ugly that she threw a boomerang and it never came back

I saw this one quote of the people who smile the most are covering the most pain I think this is true just not with everyone. As I am really depressed and act like myself with my friends but with my parents and family I force a smile so they don't worry more than they do. I did a test for my therapy session to see what level of depression I had. It came back with severe 22/24 but I asked her to tell my mum it came back as moderate saying I would tell her that my depression got worse she went along with it but I haven't told my mum and I know make things sound like I aren't as messed up as I truly am to my therapist

I hope you have to dip your Oreo’s in water because your dad never came back with the milk

Jesus got rejected. A few years later he died. He came back just to lose his virginity because even jesus is not a fucking cunt. Get off this site and go have some sex you fucking virgins.

Yo mama so ugly she went into a haunted house...... And came back out with a job application then that ran away * CAUSE SHE"S A UGLY FUCK*

A blonde went to an HIV test. When she came back, she said “The doctors say that I’m all positive!”.

A husband came back from business trip and found out that she was pregnant at first he got a bit suspicious but then he just ignore And hugs his wife with happiness the second when he meet his friend and tell him the news the friend just said " wait what I thought she was on pill"

ME WAITING FOR MY DAD TO GET
MILK
BUT HE NEVER CAME BACK
innakaurtano.ding"

A man had moved to a new contry with his dog and with basic understanding of the language. One day he heard people talking about a place for dogs, so he took his dog there telling he wanted his dog to be groomed. The man behind the counter responded with "yes happy dog, come back in little hours" so the man left and came back a couple hours later when he asked about his dog he was given a box of jerky he found out "happy dog" was the name of the place where dogs become food.

At a orphans funeral you say your dad came back

DAD: son i came back SON: where is the milk? DAD: time for another 10 years

What’s the difference between a boomerang and an orphans parents?

One of the two actually came back😂

Christopher and Tony were tempted for a beer but they only had 2 dollars each. Christopher got an idea and run away to the butcher and see if he got something good. He came back with a sausage. So they went to a pub and ordered 2 beers and 2 whiskeys. - Are you crazy?! Said Tony to Christopher. 'We don't have any money!' - Take it easy now, said Christopher. 'I have a plan.' When they finnished drink everything up christopher put the sausage through his own zipper and begged Tony to bend on his knees and take the sausage with his mouth. The bartender saw what they did and throw them out without even paying. So Christopher and Tony kept doing the same thing pub after pub after pub. After the 10th pub said Tony: I can't do this anymore. I am drunk and my knees are in too much pain to even handle the walk. - How do you think i feel? Said Christopher exhausted. ' I dropped the sausage in the 3th pub!'

WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A BOOMERANG AND MY DAD- MY DAD CAME BACK BTW ADD ME ON SNAPCHAT jakemm4324

I had an animal pun contest today. He started off by saying something-I don’t remember. Then I replied TOUCAN play that game. He went silent and my other friend barged in and said, “Don’t you thick he’s CHICKENing out?” I said, “yeah, just stop HORSING around!” He came back with one and I ended it by saying, “Ok, lets MOOOOOve on cow[now]” Welp that’s it.