i gave an orphan 5 dollars and i said "spend it on a candy bar" i came back 5 minutes later and he didn't have a candy bar. so i look over and i see that he has a piggy bank that has 40$ and i said where did you get that? he said for being homeless, and i said what are you going to spend it on he looked at me and said "i'm going to pay money for a mother."
I said to my wife that she's that ugly that she threw a boomerang and it never came back
A man walks into a sky scraper bar and takes a shot of tequila and jumps out of a window. An on looker watch’s this and is scared but what scared him most is when the same man who jumped cane back up a gain 10 minutes later. The onlooker who is amazed asked the man how he was still alive and the man said with a drunk slurred voice I “I don’t know every time I take a shot and jump I float right before I hit the ground!” The man demonstrates and as he said floated down and and came back up to the bar. The onlooker says that he must try slams a shot of tequila and jumps SPLAT! The bartender looks at the first man and says”Your and a-hole when your drunk Superman.”
I hope you have to dip your Oreo’s in water because your dad never came back with the milk
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
A blonde went to an HIV test. When she came back, she said “The doctors say that I’m all positive!”.
A group of Astronauts, a Mechanic, a Pilot & a Communications operator are on a very important mission to Mars when one of their solar panels gets grazed by a meteorite. And so the Astronauts quickly assemble in the hull to the they get orders from the ground. Once the Communications operator turned on coms, their man on the ground told the Pilot to continue their course & to send the Mechanic out to fix the problem. As the Mechanic worked on finishing repairing the solar panel, the Pilot & Communications operator told each other dark jokes when out of nowhere a meteorite field appeared! The Ground operator frighteningly shouted "Get him back in the ship!" to the Communications operator. "Chill out, he'll be fine." The Pilot assured him. "Get him the hell out of there, that's an order!" The Ground operator argued. Then thirty seconds later the Communications operator came back from the air shoot & asked "Now what?"
At a orphans funeral you say your dad came back
DAD: son i came back SON: where is the milk? DAD: time for another 10 years
What’s the difference between a boomerang and an orphans parents?
One of the two actually came back😂
A girl and dog get dropped off at an orphanage why was she crying before she went in Because the people came back for their dog
WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A BOOMERANG AND MY DAD- MY DAD CAME BACK BTW ADD ME ON SNAPCHAT jakemm4324
Once there was a man that was coming to my house and peeing in my yard then the man came back to my house and floped his penis every were and peeing at the same time and it went all over my face so the next day he came back and I got my Beebe gun and shot a medal beebee in to his peepee. this didn't actually happen
I took 7 coins from someone, he even came back from the dead to get them.
My Dad went for some *MILK* , HE NEVER CAME BACK :)
why did the orphan like milk???cause their parents went to get milk and never came back
Your Dad Went To The shop to get milk came back went again but never came back due to a car crash due to a itchy rash
You are so ugly when you went to haunted house you came back with job application
Everytime I'm come straight home from work you in the bed sleep and back there dead like a vampire in a casket. Then the next thing I noticed you just came back from the dead in no time dummy.
