Joe mama so fat she went wearing high heels and came back in flip flops.
Came Back Jokes
A nun, badly needing to use the restroom, walked into a local Hooters. The place was hopping with music and loud conversation and every once in a while "the lights would turn off."
Each time the lights would go out, the place would erupt into cheers.
However, when the revelers saw the nun, the room went dead silent.
She walked up to the bartender and asked, "May I please use the restroom?"
The bartender replied, "OK, but I should warn you that there is a statue of a naked man in there wearing only a fig leaf."
"Well, in that case, I'll just look the other way," said the nun.
So the bartender showed the nun to the back of the restaurant.
After a few minutes, she came back out, and the whole place stopped just long enough to give the nun a loud round of applause!
She went to the bartender and said, "Sir, I don't understand. Why did they applaud for me just because I went to the restroom?"
"Well, now they know you're one of us," said the bartender, "Would you like a drink?"
"No thank you, but, I still don't understand," said the puzzled nun.
"You see," laughed the bartender, "every time someone lifts the fig leaf on that statue, the lights go out."
Now, how about that drink?
A little girl was sitting with some other kids. She thought to herself, "I want to have kids when I'm older, at least theyโll have a home, parents, and hopefully a dad that actually came back with the milk!" ๐คฃ๐
School teacher: "Hey kid, why don't you just go home to your family?"
Orphan: "My family never came back for me."
School teacher: "Your daddy must've really needed that milk."
My dad went to go get milk. He came back 7 years later, and we had to send him back because he got the wrong milk.
So, my girlfriend left me. I took her wheelchair, and she came back crawling.
Can you make me a bowl of cereal? Oh wait, your dad never came back with the milk.
The twin towers are just like my mom and dad, they went to work and never came back.
Why do orphans become criminals? To know what itโs like to be wanted.
Why are orphans bad at poker? They donโt know what a full house is.
I saw a child crying yesterday, so I asked him where his parents were. Bad move. I got fired from my job at the orphanage.
What do you call an orphanโs family reunion? Me time.
Did you know? The letter โfโ in orphan stands for family.
What is an orphanโs least favorite song? We Are Family.
Whatโs an orphanโs least favorite TV show? Family Guy.
Whatโs an orphanโs least favorite movie? Meet the Parents.
Whatโs an orphanโs least favorite type of music? House.
Whatโs an orphanโs least favorite store? Home Depot.
Whatโs an orphanโs favorite band? Foster the People.
What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan.
Where do orphan chickens end up? Foster Farms.
What beer do orphans drink? Fosterโs.
Why do orphans have water with their cereal? Because their dad never came back with the milk.
What do you call a fish with no parents? An orfin.
Why do orphans like playing tennis? Because itโs the only love they get.
Me: Are you an orphan? Orphan: Yes, what gave me away? Me: Your parents.
Kid: Dad, where are you going?
Dad: To get milk.
TEN YEARS LATER
Kid's friend: Where's your dad?
Kid: He went to get milk but never came back.
Little Jonny just came back from quarantine with his girlfriend, Sally.
They both said they had to go to the bathroom. When they came back, Sally was coughing up a storm. The teacher said, "You need to be quarantined again."
"No," Sally said, "I was just in the bathroom choking on something that grown-ups, especially women, like." Then the teacher faints.
Yo dad's so stupid, he came back after he got the milk.
Me: Do you eat your cereal with water? You: No, why? Me: 'Cause your dad never came back with the milk!
A husband came back from a business trip and found out that his wife was pregnant. At first, he got a bit suspicious, but then he just ignored it and hugged his wife with happiness. The second when he met his friend and told him the news, the friend just said, "Wait, what? I thought she was on pills!"
Why don't orphans drink milk?
'Cause their parents have not came back with it yet.
What is the difference between an orphan and a deaf kid?
They can't hear or speak to their parents that never came back.
One day a guy named Carson is called a jerk, and he says, "I went to a party with my girlfriend, and this random guy walks up to us and says, 'Can I borrow your girlfriend for 30 minutes?' I say yes, and he takes her upstairs. It was not only 30 minutes, but an hour. When she came back down, she was out of breath, so I knew it was a pretty intense conversation." This happens about 3 more times that night.
But as I was saying, only a nice guy would let his girlfriend make friends with other guys. ๐๐
Why do orphans eat cereal with water? Because their dad never came back with the milk.
Christopher and Tony were tempted for a beer, but they only had 2 dollars each.
Christopher got an idea and ran away to the butcher to see if he could get something good. He came back with a sausage. So they went to a pub and ordered 2 beers and 2 whiskeys.
"Are you crazy?!" said Tony to Christopher. "We don't have any money!"
"Take it easy now," said Christopher. "I have a plan."
When they finished drinking everything up, Christopher put the sausage through his own zipper and begged Tony to bend on his knees and take the sausage with his mouth.
The bartender saw what they did and threw them out without even paying. So Christopher and Tony kept doing the same thing pub after pub after pub.
After the 10th pub, Tony said: "I can't do this anymore. I am drunk, and my knees are in too much pain to even handle the walk."
"How do you think I feel?" said Christopher, exhausted. "I dropped the sausage in the 3rd pub!"
Yo mama so fat that when she went out in high heels, she came back in flip flops.
