Call jokes
What do you call a zombie?
Nothing because zombies aren’t real, and if they were, you would be dead.
Why don’t we just call blue balls a cummy ache?
Somebody called the cops for a school shooting, what a snitch!
I decided to make a charity bungee jump for the local disabled. It's called "Spastics on Elastics."
What do you call a dog that can do magic?
A Labracadabrador.
I'm going to open a wellness center for ASD kids to be able to express themselves through music and painting. I will call it Artism!
There is a new kind of jock strap; it only holds one nut. It is called a Trump supporter.
Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be wanted.
Why are orphans bad at poker? They don’t know what a full house is.
I saw a child crying yesterday, so I asked him where his parents were. Bad move. I got fired from my job at the orphanage.
What do you call an orphan’s family reunion? Me time.
Did you know? The letter ‘f’ in orphan stands for family.
What is an orphan’s least favorite song? We Are Family.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite TV show? Family Guy.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite movie? Meet the Parents.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite type of music? House.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite store? Home Depot.
What’s an orphan’s favorite band? Foster the People.
What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan.
Where do orphan chickens end up? Foster Farms.
What beer do orphans drink? Foster’s.
Why do orphans have water with their cereal? Because their dad never came back with the milk.
What do you call a fish with no parents? An orfin.
Why do orphans like playing tennis? Because it’s the only love they get.
Me: Are you an orphan? Orphan: Yes, what gave me away? Me: Your parents.
Things we all do:
Call the Royal blue tang fish the "Dory fish," and the Clownfish "Nemo fish"! 🤣
I do this too often!
Santa decided coal was too expensive, so he started putting shredded lettuce and mayo in naughty kid's lockers... he calls it the coal's law.
What do you call a deaf and blind axe murderer?
Helen Killer.
What do you call a dear with no eyes?
I have no eye deer!
What do you call a party with 100 midgets? A little get together.
What do you call a homosexual wrestler?
Gay Mysterio.
What do you call a Greek necrophiliac?
Con Fuckacarcass.
What do you call a nun on a wheelchair?
Virgin Mobile.
My girlfriend called me a cocksucker, but hey, 20 dollars is 20 dollars.
Q. What do they call an ISIS terrorist who owns both a camel and a goat?
A. Bisexual.
Q: What do you call a Chinese billionaire?
A: Cha-Ching!
What do you call a person with a flip flop?
My dad.