Call jokes
What do you call a walkie-talkie for retards? -- A stumblie-mumblie.
You want to hear a dirty joke?
This guy and this girl were having sex when the guy's boss called to ask why he wasn't at work. The guy responds, "I'm sick." His boss replies, "You don't sound sick." The guy says, "I'm fucking my sister" and hangs up the phone.
What do you call a pessimistic Mexican?
A Mexican't.
What do you call an expert fisherman?
A "MASTER-BAITER".
What do you call an Indian gymnast? Balance Singh.
What do you call a terrorist in a kids' swimming pool?
A bath bomb.
What do you call a Muslim guy in a bathtub?
A bath bomb 💣
Friends call me crack miser, whatever I snort. My brain starts to distort! I'll be in court.
In English class, the teacher says, "Kids, you need to say the alphabet. Okay, Sally, you first." Sally says, "Okay, a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o p q r s t u v w x y z." The teacher says, "Good job, Sally." Then the teacher called on four other students who got it right. Then the teacher called on Little Johnny. The teacher says, "Little Johnny, say the alphabet." Little Johnny says, "b c e f g h i j k l m n o p s v w x y z." The teacher says, "No, Johnny, that's not right." Johnny says, "Oh, I forgot, u r a q t." The teacher says, "No, still not right, and thank you." Johnny says, "Oh, I’ll give you the d later." The class laughs and the teacher says, "Go to the office now."
What do you call a sophisticated American?
A Canadian.
You wanna know how to get rid of potential scam callers?
Next time you get a call from them, just answer the phone and say, "Pizza Hut abortion clinic, where yesterday's loss is today's sauce, how may I help you?"
What do you call a German lesbian?
A krautmuncher.
My friend once said my opinion didn't matter. I said, "Why did you call me a female?"
People call me a bad person, but just the other day I saw a little kid crying and asked him where were his parents. I love working at the orphanage.
How come when women decide to kill their unborn baby it's a "choice"? But when I decide to drive my car into a playground full of children it's called "murder."
What do you call an Asian prostitute?
Suck Mi Dong.
What do you call an autistic kid who just saw Transformers? Autistimus Prime.
Why are babies called bundles of joy?
When you break the bundle, it gives you joy.
Michael Jackson was working on a cover of a popular Elton John song when he died...
His version was to be called "Don't Let Your Son Go Down on Me"...
What do you call a group of chubby trans-genders?
Trans-fats.