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Man

If a crippled man told stories about himself, would that be called VeggieTales?

Anal Sex

My girlfriend asked me if we could have anal sex, and I said, "What's that?" She said, "I fuck her ass." I said, "Oh, my uncle calls that shhhhh."

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    • Memes

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    Band

    I started a band called 999 megabytes... we still haven't gotten a gig.

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    • Nut

    What do you call a nut on a wheelchair?....A busted nut.

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    • Dog

    What do you call a dog with no legs?

    My asian neighbors dinner.

    Kid

    I pushed a disabled kid in a fire, then called him "hot wheels."

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    • Anal Sex

    Patient: β€œDoctor, my bottom hurts.”

    Doctor: β€œCan you tell me exactly where it hurts?”

    Patient: β€œRight around the entrance.”

    Doctor: β€œAs long as you call it the entrance, it will hurt.”

    Day

    One day Nathan came in ten minutes late to Mr. Jones's class. Mr. Jones asked him, "Nathan, what do you have to say for yourself?" Nathan says, "Please sir, I was on top of Cherry Hill." Then Dave came in a further ten minutes late to Mr. Jones's class. Mr. Jones asked him, "Dave, what do you have to say for yourself?" Dave says, "Please sir, I was on top of Cherry Hill." Then Mike came in a further ten minutes late to Mr. Jones's class. Mr. Jones asked him, "Mike, what do you have to say for yourself?" Mike says, "Please sir, I was on top of Cherry Hill." Then five minutes later a new girl walked in to Mr. Jones's lesson. Mr. Jones is at the end of his tether now and says, "Who are you and why are you late?" The new girl says, "Sir, I'm called Cherry Hill."

    Sex

    You want to hear a dirty joke?

    This guy and this girl were having sex when the guy's boss called to ask why he wasn't at work. The guy responds, "I'm sick." His boss replies, "You don't sound sick." The guy says, "I'm fucking my sister" and hangs up the phone.

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