Call jokes

I had a huge crush on this girl when I was eight. One recess we met together on the playground, and she brought me to the corner of the playground. That was my first kiss, and from there it got serious. I told my parents a week later and they freaked out, called the police, and they arrested my crush. I miss Mrs. Johnson.

If a crippled man told stories about himself, would that be called VeggieTales?

What do you call a swimming terrorist?

A bath bomb.

what do you call a retard smoking weed?

a baked potato.

What do you call a feminine cow?

A dairy queen.

I started a band called 999 megabytes... we still haven't gotten a gig.

What do you call a nut on a wheelchair?....A busted nut.

What do you call two transgender midgets having sex?

A microtransaction.

Patient: “Doctor, my bottom hurts.”

Doctor: “Can you tell me exactly where it hurts?”

Patient: “Right around the entrance.”

Doctor: “As long as you call it the entrance, it will hurt.”

What do you call an epileptic in a lettuce field?

Seizure salad.

Q. What do you call a Mexican Jedi?

A. a PadaJuan.

I pushed a disabled kid in a fire, then called him "hot wheels."

One day Nathan came in ten minutes late to Mr. Jones's class. Mr. Jones asked him, "Nathan, what do you have to say for yourself?" Nathan says, "Please sir, I was on top of Cherry Hill." Then Dave came in a further ten minutes late to Mr. Jones's class. Mr. Jones asked him, "Dave, what do you have to say for yourself?" Dave says, "Please sir, I was on top of Cherry Hill." Then Mike came in a further ten minutes late to Mr. Jones's class. Mr. Jones asked him, "Mike, what do you have to say for yourself?" Mike says, "Please sir, I was on top of Cherry Hill." Then five minutes later a new girl walked in to Mr. Jones's lesson. Mr. Jones is at the end of his tether now and says, "Who are you and why are you late?" The new girl says, "Sir, I'm called Cherry Hill."

What do you call a Communist sniper? -- A Marxman.

You want to hear a dirty joke?

This guy and this girl were having sex when the guy's boss called to ask why he wasn't at work. The guy responds, "I'm sick." His boss replies, "You don't sound sick." The guy says, "I'm fucking my sister" and hangs up the phone.

What do you call a pessimistic Mexican?

A Mexican't.

What do you call an expert fisherman?

A "MASTER-BAITER".

What do you call an epileptic kid eating fruits?

A blender.

What do you call an orphan taking a picture with it's family?

A self-fie.

What do you call a sex offender attending church? A priest.