What is the best Christmas present ever? A broken drum! You just can't beat it!
What do you call an angry reindeer? RUDE-olph!
What is Santa's favorite breakfast? Snowflakes!
What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations? Tinsel-itis!
Call Jokes
Better call NASA and tell them there are only going to be 7 planets after I destroy URANUS.
What do you call a burger 🍔 with one eye?
A one giant.
What do you call a cow with no toes?
Lac-toes intolerant.
What do you call a cow that doesn't stop shaking?
A milkshake.
What do you call a nosy pepper?
Jalapeno.
What do you call funny waves? Wave Chappelle.
My mom told me that she got a new job & I don't have to leave the house.
Then my mom told all my customers are the men that live in our neighborhood.
Then I ask what is your job call. My mom said job hand, then I said job and or is hand job.
My mom said yeah that it. My mom said I'm good at my job that why all the males are always knocking at the door.
What do you call Anne born in May? A Maybe.
What is a wasp called?
A wannabe.
What do you call an old snowman?
Answer: Water.
What do you call the ghost of the Thanksgiving turkey? A Poultrygeist.
What do you call the bear that pushes all the other bears into the pool?
The dry bear.
What do you call a group of redneck superheroes?
The Inbredibles.
I punched you so hard that I'll call you "Droppy Pussy."
What do you call Dominos when it doesn't know how to cook pizza?
Domi-don't-knows...
What do you call a sad Doge?
What?
Nothing but Sarrrooooddd!
What do you call an expert fisherman?
A "MASTER-BAITER".
Me and my little brother were playing Call Of Duty. He wasn't doing very good, so I told him so. My brother said to me, "At least I don't have to camp in order to get kills." I then responded with, "I would call you cancer, but at least cancer kills."
What do you call a 60 year old with a bomb?
Suicide Boomer.
