But jokes

I heard my neighbors having sex, and it was annoying me, so I called my girlfriend to ask if she wanted to go out, but when I called her, I heard my neighbors' phone ringing.

I have a fear of speed bumps, but I'm slowly getting over them.

I accidentally hit an orphan with my car, but I was not worried because he couldn’t tell his parents.

Never drink tea in school... I give people tea if they've passed out... tea can be nice, but only have it once a day... It's not what you think... It's not tea, it's CPR.

I would tell you the pun about the broken pencil, but it has no point to it.

Does anybody know the similarities between a Rubik's cube and a penis?

I don't know the whole answer, but I do know that the more you play with it, the harder it gets.

Daddy, good morning, please, I want too, but Davido's second-hand towel is 2.5 million.

On the day of 9/11, the WTC's ordered cheese and pepperoni pizza, but all they got was plane.

Lol, the Twin Towers ordered a drop in from Pizza Hut, but instead they got a hot and ready from Jet's.

My little league football debut was a lot like the first time I had sex. I was beaten, bruised, and bloody, but at least my Dad came.

I cleaned my room today. While sweeping under the bed, I heard my mop collide with something. To my surprise, I found Pristiano Penaldo hiding under my bed! My dad said, “Don’t bother sweeping him son, he’s been dusted for years.” I was shocked but not surprised.

What's the difference between a school bus and a cactus?

On the school bus, the pricks are on the inside, but on a cactus, the pricks are on the outside.

Unpopular opinion about programming but,

"Uncaught TypeError: Cannot read property 'myUnpopularOpinion' of undefined."

I heard that Uranus is pronounced "yuuranus," but it reminded me of urine! 😆

"Nining leven BITCH. I don't know how to spell, but it's that shit where the planes flew into them towers."

The orphan wanted to call home sick, but there was no one.

The orphan went to school to have food, but there was no money in his account.

I was about to tell a 9/11 joke, but it was too plane.

Drinking coffee when you're anxious is about as effective as using gasoline to put out a fire, but slurp slurp guess who's an anxious bitch who never learns.

I caught the flowers at a wedding--now married to a hot guy. But then I caught an STD at a funeral, I kinda nervo.........

So, one day I have a wife, but if it's getting a longer day, she is moving so weird, and I see she has sex with Rick Astley. 😂 [rickrolled]