But jokes
The Christian, the Buddhist, and the Muslim each go on a separate plane.
The Christian's and the Buddhist's flight goes well, but the Muslim's plane has a problem and crashes into two towers.
Your mom was dating a boy that had a twin brother, but she did it with the wrong one.
What goes up but never goes down?
My grades.
(I wish)
You abuse me that I have no beards, but your sugar daddy shaved them off to look cute. 🤔
Roses are red, that much is true.
But violets are violet, not f*ing blue!
Why were the Twin Towers so mad?
They ordered pepperoni, but they got plain.
Roses are red, violets are blue, but at least a dumptruck isn't as ugly as you.
Did you know Princess Diana's last dress she wore was white? But afterwards, it was red.
I would make a joke, but it won't be as explosive as the others.
What does a cute deaf girl and a fire have in common?
They're both hot, but they're both quiet.
Daughter: Hey Dad, can I use your car?
Dad: Sure, but first you have to give me a blow job."
Daughter: Okay, (proceeds to service dad). Dad, ewww, your dick tastes like shite!"
Dad: Oh, that's right, I lent your brother the car.
What did Jay Z say when he got pulled over?
"I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one!"
An orphan saw a tornado, and he thought he saw his mom, but then he realized it was a corpse and said, "Hi, Dad!"
One day an orphan threw a boomerang, but it came back, just like its parents.
I was about to joke about your life, but I think your life is already a joke.
What's the difference between a piano, a pot of glue, and a tuna fish?
You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna.
What about the glue?
I knew you'd get stuck there.
Life isn't about pleasing yourself and that you have to do things for the sole benefit of God.
It’s like masturbation. Sometimes it’s not getting yourself off, but getting someone else off too. That’s what thighjobs are for.
I thought opening a door for a lady was good manners, but she just screamed and flew out of the plane.
When Bob got on that sled, I don't know how he went so smoothly, but that is the invention of bobsled peoples.
And then Mark came in.
You know that the F in orphan may stand for family, but it actually stands for "fuck family."