But jokes

If you get a new bed, you have more bedroom, but less bedroom.

My mom told me to help her with the laser, but it was opposite day, so I pushed her down.

She said help, so I kicked her.

I went to a store to get milk, but when I got home, there were a million cows waiting for milk, so they killed me.

How many Polish people does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But you need 5000 Soviet troops in case he goes on strike!

I used to have a son, but he died the same way Eric Clapton's son died. For inspiration.

There’s no “I” in team, but there is a “U” in cunt.

The Twin Towers ordered pepperoni pizza, but got plane.

My mom loves balls.

But my dad has been gone for the last 4 years.

When you tell the men in the suits you can see that the demons of your sins are watching you...

But they know you're blind.

My mum told me to do the dog poo, but I couldn't find you anywhere.

What's the difference between a school shooting pistol and a baked potato? The physical composition, of course, but they both pack the same heat.

Pistachio can’t, but pe-can.

What is sticky, but it cannot stick a stick?

I’m part of the anti anime association, but I’m starting to like anime. What do I do?

And for the joke: What do you call a dog with no back legs and a pair of metal balls? Sparky.

I want to make a joke about old age, but I'm too senile to finish it.

Hey guys! I'm back! Sorry I didn't post yesterday! I had swim practice, and a bunch of homework, but here I am! And here is the quote of the day!

"Push yourself, because no one will do it for you."

Love y'all so much!

Reminder: Check the fridge, but remember nothing's in there.

I went to a funeral to revive my dead grandmother with the Reboot Card, but my family was upset!

My best friend is an orphan, and we try to have sleepovers, but his parents never say yes.

One day I visited my friend in a hospital.

I remember when I spoke, "You know, sometimes it's reaching its peak and its lowest state, but I know you'll always end like the others at calming and straight!"

Yes, I talked about the heart monitor beside him.