But jokes

We aren't ghosts, but I'll take you under the sheets.

Today I'm attaching a light to the ceiling, but I'm afraid I'll probably screw it up.

I went to the aquarium this weekend, but I didn’t stay long. There’s something fishy about that place.

Do you like soccer? My favorite player is Ronaldo, but we can still get Messi.

Yo momma is so fat, when she fell I was not laughing, but the sidewalk cracked up.

I was sitting in class, and the teacher said he wasn't disappointed in me and my best friend, but not so much in me.

I looked at my best friend and said, "I'm a disappointment to the teacher, too."

Me: Knock, knock.

Another person (OP): OP: Who's there? Me: Hatch. OP: Hatch who? Me: Bless you =) OP: But I didn't sneeze. Me: You just don't get a joke, do you?

Yo mama so fat she has her own gravity.

But she so ugly people are repelled by her.

I've got a job defusing landmines.

It's difficult, but hopefully soon I'll find my feet.

There was a girl called Millie, and she had sexy blond hair, and she wanted to chase me, but I told her she had to catch me first if she loves me.

When you ask for plastic surgery, they said, "We could not fix you, but the only way is to wear a mask to fix your ugly face."

Tried making 9/11 jokes, but none of it kept falling apart.

Tried making jokes about 9/11, but it just kept falling apart.

I made a website for orphans, but it did not have a home page.

I wasn't going to visit my family this December, but my mom promised to make me Eggs Benedict. So I'm going home for the hollandaise.

What is the difference between an orphan and a non-orphan? You can slap the orphan, but not the non-orphan because they can actually tell their parents.

I was high in high school, but not as high as the people jumping from the buildings.

Why were the Twin Towers mad?

They ordered pepperoni pizza, but all they got was plane.

My mom told me to go to bed, but then I grabbed a drink and went in their room to say goodnight, and they looked like Adam and Eve on steroids!

My girlfriend left me today for spending my own money. What a bitch! I spend a fair amount of money on her for her clothes and Air Force Ones, but as soon as I spend $100 on hookers, she leaves me.