But jokes

I would say something funny, but I would have to dig someone up.

Two WiFi routers got married. The ceremony was OK, but the reception was amazing.

I wanted to buy some camo pants, but I couldn't find any.

I told my friend to fly a plane,

But he threw a ramp off a roof.

What is the best thing about Switzerland?

I don't know, but their flag is a big plus!

Don't you hate it when you do the dishes, but then you realize it wasn't the dishes?

I did a walk today, but I had a walk home from a walk. Walk today, but it when.

When I go to weddings, old people will tell me I'm next, but when I go to funerals, I tell old people they're next.

Luigi was dying and had two sons. Bruno was handsome, but Alberto was ugly.

He said, "Maria, tell me, is Alberto my son?"

"Yes, Luigi," his wife said, and he died happily.

Wife said, "Thank God he didn’t ask about the other one!"

You know how in the movie, "Nightmare Before Christmas," they say they're making Christmas?

I thought Mary and Joseph did, but okay.

Jesus tried solving the Rubik's cube,

but died on the cross.

Kate: Can we have a threesome?

Trevor: Sure.

The lights go off and Trevor starts doing what he's supposed to be doing, and then he feels something going up his back end. He goes to punch the person behind him, but then he turns on the light, and it was Kate behind him, and he's been fucking the guy the whole time.

When your girl is sucking your dick and chokes on it, not because it’s big but because you haven’t washed it in weeks.

A teacher is teaching a class algebra. Timmy, you've worked out it is AK, but what is 59 minus 12? Timmy shakes his head, not knowing. The teacher asks, "How about AK 49 minus 2?" Timmy replies with um... The teacher becomes frustrated and yells, "What comes after AK, Timmy!?" The white kid at the back stands, shouts 47, and pulls the trigger.

Mom says: "I will go kill myself."

Me: *stays quiet cuz knows better than to talk* *also me internally eyerolls*

Some time later me fighting with my mom:

Me to my mom: "Oh, yea than kill me!"

Mom: "What the hell did you just say? I don't want to hear it from you again!"

Lesson?

So it's OK for adults to say "I'll kill myself" but not teens/kids!?!?

Yo mama so fat, when she fell, I didn't laugh, but the concrete laughed up.

What's strong enough for a man but made for a woman?

The back of my hand.

Sonic can run around the world in a second. I can do it in 0.5, but Chuck Norris has already done it before us.

I would tell a pussy joke, but you would never get it.

I've always wanted to WAVE to a dolphin, but it could never SEA me.

That dolphin is so WASHED up. WATER you say we get revenge?