But jokes

This isn't a joke.

There was a homeless family in need of a room, but the guy said no more rooms because they were homeless. So, they got into a barn, and the mother gave birth to a young healthy boy. Before you say anything bad to a homeless man, that little boy was born on December 25th. Guess who it is.

JESUS CHRIST!!!!!! STOP HURTING THE HOMELESS PEOPLE AND START HELPING THEM!!!!!!!!

Mary Poppins went to a restaurant and ordered cheese, eggs, and cauliflower. When she left, she had written something in the complaint box: "Super cauliflower, eggs, but cheese was quite atrocious." (Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious)

When your mom tries to hit you with the belt but misses and hits herself... #victoryroyale

I know that my jokes are never punny but...

Three women were in heaven. The angel at the gates said, "How good the ride into heaven is for you, is determined by your commitment to your most recent partner."

The first lady says, "2 years, 2 side-hoes." She got an old lexus.

The second lady says, "10 years, 1 visit from a prostitute." She got a Mercedes-Benz.

The third lady says, "I never had a husband."

The angel says in response, "F*ck me and then you can have a lambo."

They all arrive in heaven, to see the second lady crying.

The first lady says, "I know we are dead, but it could be a lot worse."

"How!?" The third lady cries, "The angel has a flute for a d*ck!"

I say 123, yeah, the kids bullied me, but they really don't know that my dad has a gun, yeah.

What's the definition of disappointment?

Running into a wall with a boner, but it only hits your nose.

Dark Jokes R Like Puppies:

Once they come out they are trash, but once it starts to get older, that’s when it’s noticed, but when it gets too old, you either proclaim it dead or never talk about it.

(I would never do that though I love puppies)

I would tell you a cat pun, but it's too purr-fect to share.

You're dumb, but that's not what she said.

Me: I look up to you.

Friend: Wow, thanks!

Me: But in general cuz your so tall.

Alright kids! Find a good place to stop! Then, out of the blue, Billy died. But hey, he went to a better place.

To the man in the wheelchair who stole my camouflage jacket: you can hide, but you can’t run.

So there's this uncle of female and male twins, and his sister, the mother of the twins, is stuck trying to think of a name for the children. The uncle says, "I've got an idea!", and the mother gets excited, thinking this could be it. She says, "What should their names be?"

The uncle replies, "Well for your daughter, Denise." "That's a nice name," comments the mother, "but what about my son?" The uncle simply replies, "Denephew".

I'd tell you a joke about unemployed people, but none of them work.

I was going to make a 9/11 joke, but I'm afraid it will crash and burn.

This is supposed to be worst puns but most of them are not puns.

You might be innocent, but if you carry a large sum of cash in public, the cops won’t believe that.

There's no "I" in team, but there is a "U" in cunt.

I would have told you about a chemistry joke, but I wouldn't get a reaction.