But jokes

I'm torn on the issue of abortion. I'm pro-abortion because it kills babies, but I'm against abortion because it gives women a choice.

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    • A man walks up to Lil Johnny one day and asks, "If you had one wish, but that wish will be granted to everyone on Earth... what would it be?"

    So Lil Johnny thinks real hard and long, then said, "Well, I would wish for me to shit myself."

    The man is shocked and asks why, and Lil Johnny replies, "Well, I would be on the toilet. I think everyone else would just be confused!"

    A student asked a teacher, "How do you pronounce this word? It's spelled A-L-L-I-E-D."

    The teacher was about to answer, but then the student said, "Actually, I know how to pronounce it. I lied!" (allied)

    A husband came back from a business trip and found out that his wife was pregnant. At first, he got a bit suspicious, but then he just ignored it and hugged his wife with happiness. The second when he met his friend and told him the news, the friend just said, "Wait, what? I thought she was on pills!"

    A guy starts texting a cute girl and asks her to give him her phone number so he can call her. The girl says, "OK, but you have to transfer mobile balance to my number. Then I am gonna be your girlfriend and will meet you somewhere." He transfers her the balance and calls her, but it turns out the girl was actually a guy making him a fool. He blocked him.

    The next day, he was very angry about himself being a fool, so he thought he'd do the same. He makes a fake girl account and starts texting with some random guy, and then he asks that guy to send him balance. Suddenly, his father came into his bedroom and asked, "Son, can you send me some balance? I am gonna send you cash after sometime." That guy looks at his father with suspicious eyes, and then he calls that random number. Suddenly his father's phone starts ringing......

    Boy/girl: I love you.

    Me: I love me too! But sorry, my mom said I can't date trash. Go back to the trashcan.

    The boy/girl: I- *Is depressed*

    My little league football debut was a lot like the first time I had sex. I was beaten, bruised, and bloody, but at least my Dad came.

    If you give Kobe Bryant a cigarette, he will be warm for a short time.

    But he was set on fire in the helicopter crash, so now he's warm for the rest of his life.

    If a baby cow finds a wolf pup, they will be best friends, but when mummy wolf comes, it’s a fight, so the baby cow and the wolf pup made it a secret, but one day the mummy cow and the mummy wolf found out, but no one got hurt. In fact, the mummy cow and the mummy wolf got to know each other, and baby cow and wolf pup were very happy and played all day long. Their friendship will never break.

    -THE END-

    This was not a joke but a meaning: if you are different, that doesn’t change who you are and your friends are, so be yourself and don’t let people break your dreams, and don’t forget them either. So no matter who you are, don’t let people change who you are. 🐺🐮

    If you give a man a match, he is warm for the night, but if you light a man on fire, he will be warm for the rest of his life. :)

    Your mum was so poor that she went to rob the bank, but she left because she couldn't find the cameras. She left her son, and the security [girl] gave him the camera.

    Sketchy dude: If you push this button you get 100 million dollars but 100 million people would die.

    Me: If I push it more than once do I get more money?

    Sketchy dude: Yes, but more people die.

    Me: *rapidly pushes button* This is how you solve world hunger.

    Sketchy dude: ... wtf, you're insane.

    Me: ...

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    • Jk: Jimin, why are you so small?

    Jm: Excujjimi?

    Jk: No offense, Jim.

    Jm: Yah, call me hyung!

    Jk: But I'm bigger.

    Jm: I'm older!

    Jk: I'm the top and you're the bottom, so I don't think it's right to call you hyung.

    Jm:......