But jokes

Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jack could lick her candy, but Jack was in shock with a mouth full of cock, 'cause Jill's real name was Randy.

Yeah man, you watch Pornhub, and you have premium too, but at least I don't need Premium to see your mom in bed.

Women be like men are trash, [but] forgets women raised those men.

Women be like men cause wars, [but] forget men fight those wars while they fake cry.

I was digging in a garden once and found a chest full of gold. I wanted to show my wife, but then I thought about why I was digging in the first place.

Yo mama is so fat that when she fell, I didn't laugh, but the sidewalk cracked up.

My friend is so ugly, she got surgery twice, but not even that could fix her.

What did Jay Z say when he got pulled over?

"I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one!"

What do emos and the Twin Towers have in common? There were two, but now there are none.

I would make a dad joke, but I don't have a dad to joke about.

When the school shooter runs out of ammo: K a l m.

When he grabs a full mag: P a n i k.

When he looks back and doesn't see you, but you're hiding in one of the classrooms: K a l m.

When the autistic kid's Sketchers light up: P A N I K.

A father of five puts on a gas mask and a hazard suit and walks outside, but before he could make it, his son came and asked, "Dad, what are you wearing?"

The father answered with, "A costume for Halloween."

The child asked, "Can I join?" He said no, for he said it's their last Halloween. After that, I saw green smoke all over the same house they lived in.

God, I love telling children their parents love them, but only on April Fools'. They're orphans, after all.

I tried to tell an orphan a knock-knock joke, but sadly, there was no door to knock on.

Why can't I touch little old women, but nursing home nurses can?

When babies kick their mother, it's okay, but when I do it, it's a crime...

This isn't an orphan joke, but I got a job at a library, but it only lasted 15 minutes. Turns out, books about women’s rights shouldn’t go in the Sci-Fi / Fantasy section.

Yo mama so fat, that when she fell I didn’t laugh, but damn that sidewalk cracked up. 👋

Johnny and Jill went up the hill to lick Jill's yummy candy.

But Johnny got a SHOCK With a mouthful of COCK Because Jill's REAL NAME?

Was Randy. 👹

I went to school with a gay guy who was really smart, but he always got mad that he got straight A's instead of getting all the D's.