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But jokes

Why is it okay to stab meat, but I can't stab myself? These woke lefties, BLM, Antifa, feminists, eco-warriors, pro-vaccine libtards are stopping your freedom and right to stab yourself!

My wife told me to pass her lip stick, but I gave her a glue stick. Now she is not talking to me.

Rape jokes are like your dad's dick. You don't want it but you still get it anyway.

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    • I wanted to play Fruit Ninja, but remembered I don’t have a phone. Guess I gotta draw fruit on my arm!

    My mom told me to make my dad smile, and she will give me $100, so I said, "The Cowboys are gonna win the Super Bowl." He smiled, but my mom didn't give it to me.

    Anyways, I forgot about my package coming, and the mailman came, and I said, "I like your hat; teal looks nice on you," and he smiled, and my mom gave me $100.

    You're so fat, when people see you running, they can't help but yell out, "Keep running!"

    FaceBook Story: My mom loves FaceBook; she literally posts every day, but this day was sort of a hard hit.

    So what happened was my mom got tired of her old name on Facebook, so she changed it to Thatmilf85, and I don't want to explain what milf means, but she got a lot of DM's from a lot of old guys. BUT, this one exact guy named Johnny Sins asked my mom if she wanted to do an adult film. I don't know what that is. I think it's an adult movie, of course, so she says yes and flies out to San Diego, and she never came back after yesterday, and to YOU Johnny Sins, my mom better be Ok and that adult film better be an adult movie and not a por...

    An orphan goes to a family restaurant with her doll.

    "I'm sorry but you can't be here," said the man. "This is a family restaurant." The orphan said, "This is my family," then pointed to her doll.

    What's the difference between a piano, a pot of glue, and a tuna fish?

    You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna.

    What about the glue?

    I knew you'd get stuck there.

    Kidnapper: Hey kid, your mom told me to follow me.

    Orphan: But I don't have a mom!

    Jack and Jill went up my ass to eat a big dildo, but Jack died cause he got hit by a brown thing.

    When a woman decides to abort, it is called a decision, but when I run my truck into a playground of kids, it is called murder.

    My wife said she wanted to leave me. She said it’s because of the abuse, but really, she’s the one abusing herself by drinking alcohol and got poisoning the next day. This shows almost half of the woman’s population is weak both physically and mentally.