Business jokes
What do strippers and butter have in common?
Both spread for bread.
Answering a knock at my door, I see a vacuum cleaner salesman who proceeds to tip a huge bucket of shit all over my carpet, before proclaiming any trace this hoover doesn't remove I will personally eat myself.
"Well, I hope you're hungry," I replied, "'cause they cut off my electric this morning!"
What's the difference between a CEO and licorice?
The licorice is black.
How do rappers make their money?
By dropping dimes.
What do you call it when Panera Bread decapitates someone?
Panera Behead.
What do you call it when someone lies to Panera Bread?
Panera misled.
What do you call it when Panera Bread commits genocide?
Panera bloodshed.
What do you call it when Panera Bread goes to space?
Good question.
Why don’t Indians play soccer?
Because every time they’re at the corner, they build a store.
Why did the ass start a gardening service?
It was great at dropping SEEDS.
What do you get when you cross a rapper with an accountant?
Jay-Z and B.
What did the rapper say at the bakery?
"I need ALL the dough you got!"
People claim that Trump has Russian ties. That’s not true, just some crazy conspiracy theorists. All of Trump's ties are made in China.
Why would doors do well on social media?
Everyone looks for their handles.
Why did the rapper open a bakery?
Because he wanted to ROLL in the DOUGH!
Why was the rapper so good at math?
Because he could count bars like NOBODY’S BUSINESS!
Why don't rappers ever play baseball?
Because they're too busy dropping hits!
Why did the rapper become a banker?
Because he wanted to make some BIG BANK DEPOSITS!
Why did the rapper open a bakery?
Because they wanted to bake some BEATS.
Why did the rapper go to the bank?
To make some MONEY MOVES.