Business jokes
What did Warner Brothers get for making that horrible Joker sequel?
They got what they fucking deserved!!!!!!!!
We're gonna have to kill
no good Jack and Jill.
They’re draining the economy doooown!
They’ve spent our budget on weed
and lube to spill Jack’s seed.
They’ve ruined our wonderful town!
We're gonna have to kill
no good Jack and Jill.
They have no moralityyyy.
They’re spreading degeneracy.
We ain't what we used to be.
We’ve got to kill ol' no good Jack and Jill!
Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water,
but then they stopped at the tippy top to smoke some marijuana.
They went to the store, and got some more, to fetch a “few” more beers.
Next day they came, ran off again, repeat for 24 years.
We’re gonna have to kill
no good Jack and Jill!
They’ve banked off buying boooze!
They’ll drink and sell the price
at the original times thrice.
Corruption wins, the avg. folk’ll loseee.
We’re gonna have to kill
no good Jack and Jill.
Their kids’re in the business tooo!
They’re draining all our banks.
Give 'em well deserved spanks.
We’ve got to kill ol' no good Jack and Jill.
Jack and Jill Netflix and chilled and made a grave mistaake.
What a blunder, there was no rubber, now they’re a house of eeiiight!
A bolt went off, they opened shop to resell their porn and lean.
It all went swell, but for us, well, we’re now an oligarchy!
WE’LL KILL OL' JACK AND JILL!
(BILL is sitting in the waiting room, fidgeting with his tie. MR. SMITH enters with a clipboard.)
MR. SMITH: (sternly) Good morning, Bill. Ready for your interview?
BILL: (nervously) Uh, yes, sir! I’ve prepared a lot for this!
MR. SMITH: (raising an eyebrow) Great! Let’s start with an easy question. Why do you want this job?
BILL: (confidently) Well, I want to help your company succeed! I believe in hard work and dedication!
MR. SMITH: (nods) Good to hear. Now, what’s your biggest weakness?
BILL: (eyes widening) I tend to be overly honest.
MR. SMITH: (leaning in) That’s not really a weakness.
BILL: (smirking) I don’t care what you think!
(MR. SMITH pauses, surprised, then bursts out laughing.)
MR. SMITH: (laughing) Okay, you’re hired! We need more honesty around here!
What’s the best part about being a circumcision doctor?
The pay is good and you also get to keep the tips!
Why did the rapper start a gardening business?
He had mad ROOTS in the game.
What’s a rapper’s favorite type of SHOE?
Ad-lib-idas.
Why are there no Walmarts in Palestine?
There are Targets everywhere.
What's a prostitute's favorite snack?
Skittles. They love to taste the rainbow.
I was excited to hear Apple might start selling its own cars until I learned they wouldn’t support Windows.
I don't get why bakers aren't wealthier. They make so much dough.
My hotel tried to charge me ten dollars extra for air conditioning. That wasn’t cool.
What do you call a line of men waiting to get haircuts? A barber-queue.
I hate my job—all I do is crush cans all day. It’s soda pressing.
Have you ever thought about the fact that every market in Africa is a black market?
Why did the dwarf work at Tesco?
Because every little bit helps!
What do you call it when two transgender midgets have sex?
And microtransaction.
How can a pimp save money in buying condoms for his stable?
Answer: Have his hoes wash and rinse them after every use.
What do you call a banana that can dance?
CHUPAPIMUNYANYO BUISNESS [sic]
Did Walmart take the Juneteenth ice cream off the shelf?
It was only 3/5 full.
Yesterday, there was a blackout on my street.
So I sold them.