Bringing Jokes

Average Kid: brings mp3 to school

Rich Kid: Brings mp4 to school

Quiet Kid: Brings an mp5

When ur fighting with the emo kid and he brings his friends. Now u gotta fight the suicide squd

what's the cool thing about bringing a pack of gum or a shotgun to school.

when you pull one out everybody wants to be your friend. :)

Nobody Literally nobody Gordan Ramsey: do you need me to bring Hitler back to life so he can show you how to use a fucking oven

So a girl goes to Santa in the mall, and Santa asks what she would like for Christmas. So the kid says: “a little sister”. So then Santa says: “bring me your mother!”

Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face, for instance when you push them down the stairs.

me: brings in missing child police: omg this kid has been missing for 3 months. here is your reward me: oh, cool

NEXT DAY

me: brings in 8 other kids

police :0 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sara opens her lunch and reads the letter inside. "I packed your favorite -love mom," Sara reaches in and announces "yay PB and J," Tom goes in his lunch and pulls out a letter " go bye your self something healthy at the cafeteria -Dad," then pulls out 20 bucks and says "nice," they both look at craig as he pulls out a letter. craig reads the letter in his head, it said "WE HAVE YOUR PARENTS, THEY TELL US THEY KEEP THE MONEY UNDER THER BED. BRING $10 000 TO THE RANDAVOU POINT OR THEY WILL BE KILLED. YOU DIDN'T TAKE US SERIOUSLY LAST TIME SO THERE IS MORE PROOF IN YOUR LUNCH." Craig throughs down the letter and pulls a finger out of his lunch. Tom and Sara look shocked, then Craig says "ugh, severed finger, again!"

DAD:I'm bringing your toys to the orphanage

SON:why

DAD:your going to need them

a normal kid brings an MP3 to school

a rich kid brings an MP4 to school

quiet kid brings an MP5

This is how my mom always threatens me: I brought you into this world, I can bring you out of it too. That's why I only have 2 siblings left.

I wonder where the bodies are?

At baseball practice... Hey John did you bring the bucket of balls? No but I got two right here

What does a lesbian bring on the second date?

A U-Haul.

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

When I see lover's names carved on a tree, I don't think it's sweet. I just think it's surprising how many people bring a knife on a date.

what do you say to an upset down syndrome person... “what’s bringing you down?”

When my dad left he said he would bring back the milk but 20 years later he only came with my new sister and eggs. And I confronted him and he said "I used all the milk to make your sister"

A blonde and a redhead have a ranch. They have just lost their bull. The women need to buy another, but only have $500. The redhead tells the blonde, "I will go to the market and see if I can find one for under that amount. If I can, I will send you a telegram." She goes to the market and finds one for $499. Having only one dollar left, she goes to the telegraph office and finds out that it costs one dollar per word. She is stumped on how to tell the blonde to bring the truck and trailer. Finally, she tells the telegraph operator to send the word "comfortable." Skeptical, the operator asks, "How will she know to come with the trailer from just that word?" The redhead replies, "She's a blonde so she reads slow: 'Come for ta bull.'"